Transcending
by daennika
Summary: A rogue Engineer explorer stumbles upon a human colony in the year 2422. Scientist Kim Tang struggles with solitude among the colonists and her feelings for the mission commander. Two loners of different species learn to live together and find meaning in their existence. (Original sci-fi turned into fan fiction)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

HY-742 had seasons, and so far it was hard to tell which one they were currently experiencing. According to the charts, the temperature had been on the rise along with humidity. Outdoor activities became more sparse, and Kim had to figure out how to keep the students occupied.

It was one of those late afternoons at module C where Jessica Fernstein and her husband Mark were setting up a cook out, more like an improvised picnic under the central canopy. The rain would fall within a few openings to allow watering of plants and fruit-bearing trees. Smells of grilled pepperoni and tofu filled the yard, mixed with bright chatting and children's laughter as they ran around playing.

"Thank goodness for this accelerated growth hormone," Jessica said, turning around the vegetables on the grill.

"We would be cooking something different if not. Maybe Hydrian stuff."

"Seems we could only make bad coffee out of those plants."

They had tried pseudo-butternuts that were so bitter they couldn't be used for anything edible.

"And we used to pour soy sauce on everything back home," she said, ironic. "What would I give for some good old cabbage now."

She smiled as she used a table knife to sample a tofu pad for tasting.

"Thanks for letting us have this party," said Jessica after chewing the soft protein-filled steak. "The rain was really bringing us down."

"It certainly isn't helping. And you're welcome."

"I try not to think about home –Earth, too often. We left that crowded place for good reasons, and I don't feel that we should concern ourselves with what's going on there anymore."

There was a ruckus coming from Module A. The Colonial Marines emerged from the doors in their casual attire, half military fatigues, half civilian t-shirts or sports shoes. They all seemed like they had just taken a shower. Adams was carrying a high backpack. Everyone watched them arrive, cheering for them and offering them drinks or seats. Jessica was smiling with a heavy look in her eye.

"It's strange that you would feel so detached from Earth already."

"Maybe it's strange," she answered thoughtfully, "or I just keep my priorities focused differently. My family is here, Kim. They're all that matters to me now."

"That's nice."

She really meant it, and envied Fernstein for the extra dedication that she sometimes felt she lacked, despite loving her work. Having kept herself away from having a family to focus entirely on her mission now somehow made her incomplete compared to women like Jessica.

The chatting was getting really loud now with the soldiers becoming the center of the attention. Gina came to greet Kim and Jessica.

"This rain ain't going anywhere, is it?"

"I'm afraid we're in the beginning of a tropical summer, Lieutenant."

"Please," she smiled shyly. "Gina."

Jessica grabbed a plastic plate to serve the salad rice with her grilled vegan meal.

"Here you go, Gina."

"Oh, thank you so much, ma'am."

They had food processors in their barracks, but Kim knew how bland-tasting was the mixture it produced and couldn't blame them for wanting to join the cook-out. Soon, they were all around the grill, discussing recipes and spices, exchanging old childhood stories... Kim watched from the sidelines, taking it all in as if she'd have to type a report about them in the morning.

The drinks were all organically enhanced with aromatics, fruit-derived and sometimes sparkly. They had no alcohol and maybe it wouldn't be long before someone started distilling anything they could find that contained sugar. She just hoped it wouldn't be from Hydrian vegetables.

Soon after everyone ate, Vick pulled out a wooden instrument from his bag. A six-stringed guitar, it seemed, kept in pristine condition. Kim hadn't seen one in decades... Music on Earth had been conservative enough to sustain through the global war and it wasn't rare to find amateur musicians among pro-environmentalists and anti-Weyland activists. Judging from Adams' ease with chord-switching and right-hand skill, he had to have been one of them. His buddies wooed him and roughly patted him in the back.

"Okay, settle down, girls. That was just an intro." Vick tentatively struck a chord and turned to his impromptu audience. "None of you have a single idea what's going on, do you?"

Even Kim chuckled, arms folded she was eager to hear him perform. There was something about musicians that made everyone suddenly become intensely docile and happy. He seemed to search his thoughts for a second then began to play a mellow tune, and sung over it. His voice was soothing and aerial, the lyrics told about loneliness, finding a way through life, all that soul-searching stuff that wasn't directed to anyone in particular.

Jessica wasn't at the grill anymore, she had gone beside her husband and they were holding each other. He would let her rest her head on his shoulder as they listened to the bittersweet melodies. Kim was suddenly made aware of every couple that were formed in the gathering, and suddenly she couldn't find that many single non-hugging people around. Deciding that they only aggravated her feelings, she kept watching Vick getting more comfortable, more confident and he played with an enthusiasm she hadn't suspected. He looked at Martin who was improvising a percussion kit with sticks on the guitar bag laid over his lap. They smiled at each other and he sung a brightly joyful chorus, apparently making a song mix, a medley with something else. This one, Irina and Leo knew its lyrics and they sung along. It was so heartwarming and beautiful to hear. Leo even did the harmonics.

Kim smiled like an idiot, feeling all her worries lift off her chest as she was tapping her foot to the beat, nodding simultaneously. Vick and her made eye contact for a few seconds and he smiled back at her, blushing slightly. He broke the gaze to finish with an interlude. Everyone was clapping at this point and it was hard to notice anything else; even the children were involved despite it not being as fascinating as imaginary space crafts and aliens. Listening to this was so much better than the rainfall.

When the night had come there was only the fluorescent floor lamps to help them navigate between the shrubberies. Any more lighting would have created pollution for star gazers, something which she had insisted not be done for this particular module design. But with the bad weather, they weren't getting any help from the stars that night. People decided to go home and finish their conversations where it was warmer.

Kim had wished for Jonas to come and enjoy the evening with her. She had spent more time looking out than chatting and socializing because he wasn't there. She stayed last to help clean up, Corporal Adams came to her when everyone was gone and he made sure nobody was watching when he stayed to talk.

"Is everything alright, Kim?"

"Absolutely. Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's the polite thing to say," he replied with a shrug. "You look out for us and we have to do the same for you."

She was despite herself made aware of his charming innocence and how the lack of light didn't affect his handsomeness. Kim tried to stay busy, wiping the table with a wash cloth.

"Can't complain... That was a nice thing you did, with the guitar and your voice."

"Thanks, doing my best to keep good music alive in these parts of the galaxy."

"I'm glad you're among us then." She let the moment pass and the silence sink in. "Do you mean to tell me something specific?"

His blue eyes wandered for a moment before he replied.

"Yes. I want you to know that, if you want to, you're always welcome over in the barracks for a drink."

"That's nice of you. Thanks."

"Really," he insisted, "I know you don't give a shit about that kind of stuff but I'd really like you to. You don't seem all that happy, lately so at least it could take your mind off your troubles."

Feeling embarrassed, she tried to come up with a scientific explanation as to why not feeling all that excited about being on an extra-solar planet was normal after two months. Vick sat against a table with his hands in his pockets.

"I also want to ask you a personal question."

"Go ahead."

"You know the mission is never gonna be over, we'll always be assigned to our roles, I'll always be in charge of security. But that's actually an open-ended question for those who want to try something different. To answer that question, we're directed towards you for guidance."

"You'd be interested in reorienting?"

"I'll be honest, there are lots of things that I don't know and I want to be useful any way I can. Assembling the base and working with people like Stevens is great but, I feel like I could be doing more."

"We'll never run out of work if that's what you worry about. You're already a promising rock star, you could teach music to the kids."

He chuckled and smiled with embarrassment.

"I could give it a shot."

Kim gave him a gentle pat on the hand.

"It'd be great for morale."

A mood lift was what she had needed. Vick nodded with a smile and gave her arm a squeeze as he moved away to leave.

"Well it's time to hit the sack. We should talk more in the future." He winked, and walked away.

When she came back to her quarters they were still in the works, the furniture was minimalistic despite the space planned in the module that she shared with Makarand and Jonas. The management module. With her work as a geologist she had the choice to take leave of her functions as a supervisor if she so wished. Anybody with the required skills and working experience could take over.

She sat herself on the large bed with the blanket still packed in its plastic sheathe. A wall section was all holographic display for work purposes or decorative images. At the moment, it was set to a live feed facing the Archimedes. Watching the rain fall on the dark silver fuselage was rather soothing for a grim view. Kim wondered if the grass would change colors with all of this hydration.

Suddenly indulging an impulse, she accessed her workstation from her remote data-access sheet and brought up the security footage from outside Module C. The video had caught a view of the mini concert with everyone gathered around the improvised music band. Hearing the song and Vick's voice again gave her a thrill. There was something special about hearing a person's voice over music, especially when it was sung with talent.

Closing the stream mid-verse, she went back to the live feed outside Module D, switched to the general view of the compound and towards the ship again. There was a flash in the sky above it. She took it for lightning, but there was no crack or sound coming from over her head. Another flash, still not lightning.

Switching to a different angle from a camera place on the other side of the base, facing north, she saw the flash again. This time there was so little light around that she couldn't make any of the source that made that activity, except...

The hole in the ground was filling up with mud from the rain, and she could see the semi-flat surface of the oval shaped object rising up over the surface of the water. The dig was a dozen meters deep, there was no way for the stone to rise up that way unless it floated.

She realized with amazement that the stone was producing electricity. It confirmed all of her speculations.

"_Archimedes_, this is Tang," she spoke into her wrist communicator. "Is anyone looking at the dig site?"

Waiting a few seconds for a response, the lightning kept on a steady pace. There was no one on the channel, apparently, and she waited further while putting on her biosuit. There was no way she could let this moment pass without first-hand readings. The thermo-environmental weaving in her suit would protect her from surges and shocks.

"Come on, talk to me, people."

Still nothing. She remembered about Vick's comm dysfunction when he was standing on top of the stone. Now, it was right there on the surface and the rain just helped the disruption spread everywhere.

Kim grabbed her helmet and left her chamber to bang on the door next to it. She couldn't go out there alone if only for consideration to her team and Jonas. He'd be worried sick if he found out she was getting near an unstable source of energy. She tried his private link and wasn't surprised to get an immediate reply.

"Still awake?"

"You've got to see this. The stone, it's active."

"What? Where are you..."

"Just about to head out and see it for myself. You can come along if you like."

"Is that a dare?"

Smiling at the implication she grabbed the data sheet in order to keep track of the surveillance while en route to the dig site. The two soldiers guarding the base entrance were sitting at a coffee table playing on their hand-held stations, they looked at her and stood up in unison.

"Ma'am."

"I'll be taking a buggy to the dig site."

"Bad idea in this weather."

"My scanners aren't recording anything, I have to go out there and pick up on things the old fashioned way."

They both looked at each other unsure of what to decide. Kim waved her micro-chipped hand in front of the door panel.

"We'll have to report this to Captain Makarand."

She was already out in the downpour when he finished his sentence, there was no time to waste. Taking one of the all-terrain short distance vehicles she set her navigator up on the dashboard and started the engine. Three bangs hit the fuselage, something she'd never heard before, even when it malfunctioned. Opening the hatch, Jonas was standing there, looking at her with his face all wet.

"The planetary grid," he shouted over the sound of the storm. "The lines cross over each stone, right?"

"That's what I want to find out." She fully opened the hatch for him to climb in, but he just stood outside. "It's active!"

"That's because of the magnetic field." He reached up and she gave him her hand, but he pulled her out instead of joining her. "Don't be stupid, Supervisor."

Resisting, she let go of him and yanked her hand back.

"Do you know something I don't?"

All he gave her was a stern look in response. Kim's heart pinched for a second and she wanted to slap him across his wet face. He was retaining information with no reason other than protecting her. But against what? It made her furious.

As she drove down the valley she pictured the grid in her mind, the lay lines covering the entire planet according to the planetary magnetic field, its "hot spots" and areas where the energy converged into the mass of the surface. If the stones connected to each other that way, intersecting across the continents, then something huge could happen in a matter of minutes. Or days.

Keeping a cautious eighty meters distance from the dig, she stepped out with her scanner probe and planted a tripod in the muddy ground. The stone was floating above surface, hit by the rain on its shiny black surface. Smoke was emanating from it. Nothing happened for a good five minutes as she recorded high electro magnetic field readings. Her ears were buzzing and she almost felt nauseated. She decided to let her gear do their job and climbed back in the buggy. It was strangely dark in the habitat and she didn't remember switching off the engines. Pressing the start button, nothing responded. There was no huff of the battery. Whatever was happening, the stone was sucking all the surrounding energy out of the cells. Cussing and swearing, Kim retrieved her probe. Nothing was working. Sniffling under her helmet, she tasted blood in her mouth.

"Shit."

The EMF levels were probably higher than she had ever experienced before, and they were causing all of her symptoms which were side-effects of the proximity of abnormally strong magnetic poles. Slightly panicking, she stepped away from the dig site, turning her stride into a jog. Running down the hill, she tripped and fell, face down in the dirt. She had bit her tongue and sadly she couldn't wipe the blood leaking from her nostrils and on her lips. Kim rolled on her back and, catching her breath, looked up at the sky.

The clouds were shifting rapidly in a circling motion. Short lightning strikes dazzled horizontally in the atmosphere but never producing any sound.

"What the..." she sighed miserably. "Why did we have to land here..."

A bang made her startle and she rolled over to get to her feet and running again. The crackling was simultaneous with a flash meaning that the lightning was in her vicinity. She didn't even dare look over her shoulder, it must have come from the stone.

Using what memory she had of the geographical maps, she went towards a depression in the surface, somewhere there would be shallow caves where she could find shelter. Only after long minutes of walking and feeling with her hands stretched out did she find a deep enough opening under a rock formation. There were no functioning lights in her suit, and she took her helmet off, knowing that the oxygen wasn't being recycled anyway. At least, she wasn't under the showers and there wouldn't be any predators out and about with that weather.

Now her concern was with her gear and in what kind of damage she would find the buggy after the storm, if it ever ended that night, and when she'd be able to crawl out of her hole. Waiting, she rested her head against cold stones behind her, knees propped up in an uncomfortable position. If she'd let Jonas take control and lead her back in the base she'd never have seen the cloud vortex. She would also never have experienced high EMF effects first-hand. She tried her communications system on but failed to get a signal, only static noise came through. She wanted to stand outside in the valley in case someone would be looking for her, but the prospect of being struck by lightning wasn't appealing that night. She calmed herself down and as tired as she was, dozing off was impossible with the constant pouring and the random flashes.

Soon, she heard her name being called in the distance, a faint male voice screaming at least a few hundred meters away. Disoriented, she didn't know what direction the _Archimedes_ was.

"Over here!" she shouted back, coming out of her hiding place and getting wet again. It was really dark and she couldn't see any lights except for the base signals that blinked slowly in the mist. It was really far away, she began to walk. Taking a step in the muddy grass, the ground seemed to shiver and she felt a rumble in her legs, then in her entire body. Earthquake? No, she knew what seismic vibrations felt like after studying the glacier volcano in Iceland. This came from above the surface.

Turning around, she lost her balance at the sight of a disc darker than the stormy sky. It made no sound whatsoever, floating ominously perhaps in low altitude, measuring the size of three cargo ships. Kim had never seen such a craft before. It hovered slowly in her direction, and her instincts told her to run, but her reason asked her to stand still and observe. The craft was now her umbrella as it seemed to make a break. Whoever was flying it perhaps took notice of her. When she saw how it was rotating in the same position, she began to decipher geometrical shapes and lines along the black fuselage. It didn't seem metallic, but of the same carbon-based coating as the stone they had uncovered.

"Kim!"

She could hear Jonas clearly now, but she was mesmerized by the ship right over he head. Its lower structure seemed to change.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - a

Kim woke up in a muck of dirt, water and a strange viscous jelly all over her suit. The floor was hard and cold to the touch and she struggled to get to her feet. Her head spun. Whatever she could see – the interior architecture of an organic vessel – was thanks to a single fluorescent white light at the top of the ceiling. One corridor led to a brighter room, the other led to complete darkness.

"Hello?" she called, with a little idea of where she was.

She had wondered about this moment, she had even dreamed of its possibility. Now, it was very real and she was desperate to understand how, and why she was aboard the alien craft. And why her?

Putting the questions in the back of her mind she went on the quest to explore the ship, and began walking cautiously towards the more brightly light area.

"Is there anyone here?" she asked, hoping for something to react to her presence.

The next room was filled with moving lights floating in the mid-air. Stars, lines, planets and circles were composing a giant three-dimensional interface over a console as large as her quarters aboard the _Archimedes. _Mesmerized by the dancing lights, she only began to pay attention to the people operating the console when they took notice of her.

A white, stern face with sunken black eyes peered at her from across the circular table.

The air refused to come in to her lungs, and her stomach knotted.

"Hey." It was all she managed to speak.

The obviously alien being stood with a strong yet fluid motion, clothed in a black tunic, and high as at least two meters. The blue and green lights reflected on his hairless skull. Kim heard footsteps behind her and another one was approaching from the corridor, equally as frightening yet statuesque in appearance. It had the physical presence of a man, the very familiar traits of a human's face like that of ancient marble statues. Standing two heads over her and just at the reach of her fingers, he looked into her eyes. Kim noticed that his were completely black, and the iris was only slightly brighter. Through his expression she felt more than saw that her presence was disrupting, but he didn't show any sign of hostility.

"Who are you?" she asked, desperate for answers. Those big answers every human sought when they wondered about their own existence.

The tall statue-like man blinked and looked across her shoulder to the holographic display. It changed at the command of the other alien who was controlling the map. Stars shifted and realigned to form a different pattern. Constellations had to be guessed and names were written in strange Sumerian-type symbols. Stepping closer, she tried to make sense of the display, apparently a navigation computer. Although unable to read a thing it was evident that she knew what she was wondering.

Turning towards the alien "commander" she uttered the name with as much care as she could, recalling all the different pronunciations she had heard over the years.

"Ah-nu-nah-kee?"

The alien behind her kept looking at what was now a model of the Sol system. It zeroed in on Earth. Kim sighed, feeling her chest sink in at the sight of the familiar planet. She wished they would show her the way they had visited her home thousands of years before. Instead, the view panned towards a formation of bright lights moving in gracious arcs towards Earth. That was the invasion, what was happening now, with the Grays. Their ships looked different.

"What's going on?"

Not sure that they would understand English, she hoped they had some sort of telepathic way to communicate. As she concentrated her thoughts towards the people around her she heard the soft yet deep voice of the alien behind her, uttering hesitantly.

"Other, take... planet. Your..." he waved his arm at the holographic emitter and it showed Earth's shadowed side.

Looking at him with amazement, Kim worked hard to understand.

"Who is taking my planet?"

"No," he said, impatient. "Other you. Taking planet... now slaves. Asleep."

Kim scratched her scalp in total confusion. Earth's dark side was black, the continents were barely distinct from the oceans, there were no lights.

"Everyone is asleep?"

"Yes."

"That explains why we lost contact with Earth."

He didn't understand her and furrowed his hairless brow.

"We have to go back," she thought out loud.

"No," he said again, and strode towards the corridor. Turning to look over his shoulder, he waited for her to follow him. "Eridu- _Earth_ is dead."

She bit her lips, feeling her heart sink. The words hurt, though coming from someone whose native language was a mystery.

"Why are the others using humans?"

It was difficult to keep up with a six-and-a-half feet tall man. He stopped for her to reach his level and resumed walking. The ship was larger than she'd predicted.

"Humans, prime organisms. We created you. They... the others, harvesters. They take human blood. They feed... Darkness."

The next room was a poorly lit space with what looked like stasis pods with yellow liquid inside.

"Can that help us fight the invaders on Earth?"

"No. No fight. No war."

"Then how do we save the rest of the humans?"

"It is too late for them. Not for you."

"Why are you helping us?"

Looking as earnest as he already was, he stepped forward and with his hands around her face, lead her firmly inside the dark room, wrapped a hand around her neck and pushed her in a stasis pod that opened upon approach. Kim panicked. What was this thing doing with her and why did it have to happen to her?

"No!" she protested, trying to slip away but his muscles were like steel. "What the fuck are you doing?"

The vat was illuminated with a yellow light, showing that it was full of a strange jelly inside. Was he going to drown her in that thing?

He tipped her off her balance, lifting her off the floor and she fell in the pod. There was no splash, she just sunk in the viscous yellow gel and couldn't get back up. Fear made her gasp for air but the pod was now closed. Her hands met the canopy over her and she spat air bubbles. Some of the liquid got into her mouth, it tasted like water and it was warm. Banging on the inside of the pod, she saw the alien look down on her, waiting. She was just going to end there, as simply as that. Her breathing reflex made her open her mouth and suck in the fluid around her, and her body started convulsing. Everything turned black after several agonizing seconds.

* * *

Chapter 2 - b

Hours had passed since dawn. Jonas was covered up to his knees with mud from searching the dig site, the tundra and the small caves where Kim could have taken shelter. The marines were restlessly patrolling the area as well, without luck. Ironically, the sun was up shedding warmth on his back as a sadistic reminder that it was safe for him to be outdoors without his suit. He cursed himself again for not going with her when she was about to leave the base. When something was on her mind, Kim had to see it through.

Jonas sighed, pulling off his gloves to rub the beading sweat on his forehead and the back of his neck. No one dared address him which made him even more helpless and guilty. He'd lost his squad mates, his brothers, without being able to do anything about it. The feelings were creeping up again.

The stone was now resting at the bottom of the pit, like it used to in the first place. But he had seen the video footage and the lightning strikes falling on it had something to do with Kim's disappearance. At least, he wondered, if she'd been struck they would have found a body by now. Unless it had been taken away by the wildlife. Even then, there would have been tracks and traces of carbon.

He brought up his hand-held display to view the data she had been compiling about the stones, those artifacts that were just too conspicuous to only be part of the natural rock formations. If there were more out there, they had to be part of a system, some sort of communication grid. How it could be activated was a mystery, but what had happened that night was probably tied to this research.

"She must've taken a nap in the caverns up north. The air scanners didn't pan out."

It was Makarand, followed by Adams and Devereaux, all three of them in full garb and rifles slung across their backs. Jonas shut off his holo-screen and turned to face them. They were aware of his sentiments towards Kim and how they would weaken his aptitude to fill his position.

"The drones can't pick-up signals from deep underground," continued Makarand, his voice going softer. "We just need to sit tight, find the most likely direction to start looking and send a team. But this colony can't survive without supervision. We need your head in the game, Commissioner."

"I'll do what needs to be done. For now, I need to know what the hell happened to her."

They all did. And the civilians probably wanted to help find her any way they could, and it was his job to assign them to their respective tasks. This kind of situation could very well cause a panic movement and more people could be lost without explanation.

With regret he got aboard the ship to man the supervisor's station. Sitting at Kim's desk, he put the headset to his left ear and entered his pass log-in handle in the terminal. The letter appeared in full screen size.

SPECIAL ACCESS CODE ACKNOWLEDGED.

ALL SECURITY CLEARANCE GRANTED.

GOOD MORNING, COMMISSIONER.

She had been the one he'd never hoped to find in his life, and now she was gone. After everything he'd been through, all the loss and the grief were taking their toll on him. He could have nothing. He could have no one.

No, he had to keep his mind clear of any emotional outburst. Any mistake could cost him and other people's lives. Drying his eyes was tricky. He couldn't use his sleeves and couldn't keep wet tissues around. Forcing himself to swallow his tears he began running the colony's roster lists and reviewing all working and non working personnel. Luckily, everyone was accounted for and staying indoors. Or maybe they were all still asleep, and those who were active probably didn't want to risk themselves outside. Supplies were high in stock, food was being processed and energy dispatch was maintained properly.

Did they even care that Kim was gone?

Her biotic transponder was out of range of the ship's detectors. A malfunction or battery depletion would have sent a definitive signal message, which was not the case apparently.

Bringing the remote-access codes in his pocket he left the station to get back to the base. If Kim had left important clues behind, he needed to know what she was on about. Her devices must have recorded something before the black-out.

But, stepping out in the hallway of the _Archimedes_, he met with Linda who was surprised to see him emerge from Kim's work place.

"Jonas, I just heard about Kim. What happened?"

"I'm still working it out."

"Do you think something may have taken her? An animal of some sort?"

He wished it wasn't. Humans didn't need a reason to go hunting.

"We'll let you know once we get to the bottom of it."

He turned away to walk out of the ship as soon as he could, but he felt a hand wrap around his arm to force him back. Jonas would have confessed that his nerves were sensitive right then, explaining why his training kicked in. He grabbed Linda's arm, twisted it around her back and placated her against the gray-white bulkhead. She squirmed with shock and pain, resisting his grip and then he realized he'd crossed the line. Jonas let her go and she turned around, leaning against the wall to rub her painful wrist.

"I'm sorry," he said, hesitant.

"So am I," said Linda, her eyes piercing his face. "We'll talk again, Commissioner."

She strode off, her footsteps seemed to be resonating in the whole ship. He wondered if he'd gone too far, or if he'd barely scratched the surface of basic human relations. He had to stop meddling with them.

Back in his cramped quarters, his terminal was still displaying his message inbox since the last time he had checked it. The last received memo was from Earth, obviously, but no one had signed it. It came from an official department of the Confederation, that was for sure.

GOOD MORNING, COMMISSIONER JONAS.

DUE TO LIMITED RESOURCES YOU ARE TO CEASE ALL CONTACT WITH EARTH UNTIL GIVEN NEW ORDERS.

HY-742 IS NOW DECLARED SELF-RELIABLE AND SELF-GOVERNED.

ALL FORMER-CSE ORGANS ON BOARD (MILITARY, SCIENTIFIC) HAVE BEEN DISCHARGED FROM GOVERNMENT AUTHORITY.

DEAL WITH PUBLIC RELATIONS AS YOU SEE FIT.

He'd never been given this much responsibility in his life. He was a soldier, goddammit. Until the very last day on Earth, nobody saw his value on this mission and suddenly, they wanted him to be the head of mankind's first colony in outer space. The questions had been troubling him for weeks. The first few days he'd dismissed the message as a mistake. A joke, even. He had sent an interrogative to check that the message was confirmed but he received no answer.

Would they react if Kim had disappeared? Even if they couldn't do anything from their end, they could at least show some support. Maybe he didn't want to communicate anything that had no substance. If he didn't know what was going on, he preferred to keep things under wraps until he could bring a complete report.

Using his credentials, he accessed Makarand's messenger account as well as Thordisson's. Had they just accepted being jettisoned like that for so long without saying anything to him? His earpiece chirped with an incoming call. He pressed the receive button.

"Kim? It's Stevens. Where have you been?"

"This is Jonas." He took a slow breath. "Kim is missing, Ben. I'm stepping in while we're searching for her."

"Are you kidding? What happened?"

"It's related to a magnetic storm. Any ideas?"

The man on the other side of the call seemed genuinely shocked and helpless. Jonas couldn't wait to close the transmission and get back to work.

"If she was outside during the thunder there's a chance she could just be disoriented from a light shock and got lost somewhere." He continued after Jonas had stayed silent with skepticism. "Shall I wrangle up a search party?"

"No. I need everyone to stay put until we find out what's going on. I'm counting on you to keep this situation contained from your end."

"Understood, sir. And... good luck."

This was his kind of job. Rescuing people, retrieving them from dangerous places. Yet he couldn't tap into his warrior instincts in this particular context, and it frustrated him to feel less efficient than what he was trained to be.

He didn't know what to look for when he got back to the base. Kim's belongings were still in packing cases and the bed had no linens. One section of the room was just digital display, the window which normally would face the underground was showing the _Archimedes_ under a sunny sky. Marines were patrolling around it while mechs were moving crates towards the cargo hatch, what tools and materials were left from the construction work.

Jonas found the command console for the display, sat in front of the computer at Kim's desk and rewound the history recording until the night before. The day turned to night time, rain was pouring and lightning could be seen intermittently in the clouds. A buggy drove through the panorama and he felt a knot form in his throat. Its headlights disappeared over a hill, towards the north where the flashes seemed to originate. Minutes past without a single change, he switched on fast-forward, forcing his attention on pixel fluctuations, movements... For a second, the clouds shifted laterally then resumed their position. Playing back that portion of the recording, Jonas narrowed his eyelids and looked closer.

"What the hell...?"

A knock on the door made him startle and hit pause.

"Come in," he called and heard the door hiss open in his back.

"Commissioner." Without even looking he knew it was Corporal Vick Adams. His voice was a little hesitant but earnest. "Am I interrupting..?"

Getting up, Jonas followed his gaze. The wall display showed the same recording and the dark shape that he was tracking when he thought the clouds were displaced. A large, oval, black disk dominated the sky over the _Archimedes_. It seemed much more obvious on a big screen.

"Is that what took her?"

"I don't know what it is," answered Jonas. "It coincides with the time we went out after Kim."

The young man came closer to the picture, clasped his hands in his back and his expression was mixed.

"Do you think she knew about this thing yesterday? She seemed convinced something was out there last night when she got our sentries to let her through."

And he had let her go despite all the warnings, Jonas thought, because he wanted her to be free to make her own decisions. Because he loved that about her.

"We have to assume this thing will return," he said trying to sound tough. "And we'll need to be ready."

"And they got Kim. We have to assume that until we find her... or her body."

He turned away, his mouth pinched shut which Jonas interpreted as contained anger. The lines on his forehead were also a sign of sentimental involvement. It was possible that Kim touched other people the way she had affected him, however knowing he wasn't the only one made it hard to accept.

"Corporal," he said before taking a slow breath. "Did she say something to you?"

Adams hesitated.

"Nothing of relevance, sir."

Everything was important to him right now. He needed to know. Adams needed to _understand_ how important she was, and that went far beyond their common need for comfort by fishing for information in her quarters.

"_Don't be stupid._ That's the last thing I said to her. And then I just watched her leave. You'd think the least I could do was to go along and help."

"Then we'd be missing a supervisor and a commissioner. With all due respect." Adams scratched an itch on the back of his neck. "Do you know if she was close to anyone from the payload? Any friends we should investigate?"

Jonas thought immediately of Thordisson. His constant distrust of Kim in regards of their budding relationship could be a cause for extreme action like this. But Jonas had known of the scientist's whereabouts the entire night before. If he hadn't dared show his face that day it was because of his ambiguous attitude and there was no need for his sour remarks.

Kim's lab partner was unrelated, then there was Stevens who was apparently friendly with everyone he spoke to. But Jonas couldn't picture a specific interaction between Kim and the rest of the crew beside his own. They had spent most of their free time in close quarters, working together and sharing their impressions on various topics.

"She was lonely, wasn't she." There was no question about that, Adams knew it too.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Sure, Corporal."

"It's fucking unfair is what it is." He waited a few seconds before elaborating. "I asked her on a date, merely hours before."

"And how did that go?" he said, not without a pinch to the heart.

"Ah, no joy. She's a professional... can't pull her away from her duty. I don't think she even acknowledged me. And I didn't see anyone else show interest in her. "

"Are you making a point, Adams?"

"Just saying... We're both here in her room while the rest of the crew is going on about their lives. Someone so dedicated deserves better than this. If that thing, that UFO took her, she could be anywhere. Probably off this planet by now."

"I hope you're wrong."

But he was probably right if an intelligent alien species did pay them a visit that night. Kim's body wasn't found, and if she was still alive she had very little chances of surviving an alien encounter. He imagined retrieving her cold body in a creek somewhere, or worse... lost in outer space and never to be found.

And they hadn't even kissed when they had the chance.

It would have changed everything.

He shut down the playback, extracted the data on his pad to transfer it to his own station. Something like this needed to be studied further, it was something Makarand would be very interested in, too.

"Tell me what you've found," said Adams as he turned to leave. "Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"There's a chain of command-"

"After what Makarand refused to tell us and the shit going on back home? Screw the chain of command."

Once alone again, he reviewed the recording from the afternoon of the day before, going from one surveillance cam to another until he found Kim. She was in the back of the interior yard in what looked like a picnic party, and people were all facing toward the marines with Adams playing music. Jonas was surprised, he'd never suspected anyone to be able to deliver a sound like that aboard the ship. Everyone seemed enthralled in the song, even Kim, as retreated as she was while the rest of the civilians were paired up and cuddling with their significant others. Where was he at that very moment?

He didn't know if it was the mellow tones or what he was seeing, but his breath locked and his vision went blurry. Jonas pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut until it cleared.

He started to understand why Adams had come to visit. He also admitted that he wasn't the only one to care for her when he saw the rest of the evening from the same camera. Adams approached Kim, as it had been accounted, and they began to talk. The exchange was so polite, so friendly and painfully respectful that Jonas almost wanted Kim to fall for Adams after he had sung for almost thirty minutes. She was roughly the same age as him, and he had a joyful attitude that could bring some light into her life. Even after sharing all they had, Jonas wanted her to be happy without him.

Despite himself he continued watching her every movement, to the limit of spying as she returned to her quarters to take a shower, change and get back to her work. She had spent several minutes studying the storm and the dig site until she sent out her first call to the ship. Nobody could answer her because of the electromagnetic black-out. Then she got him on the ECA line while she put her environmental suit on.

It had been her call and she had assumed all responsibility, she knew the risks and went anyway. Jonas had to stop blaming himself and start looking for solutions. If she wasn't coming back any time soon he had to find a replacement for the supervisor tasks while he took care of his latest discovery.

If she was taken by that dark UFO then he would need all of his resources at hand to figure out where it went, how to find it and, if it was flown by aliens, he hoped they weren't belligerent. The stories of people saying they had been abducted by aliens made him uneasy. Was Kim going through something like that, was she being hurt? Were they ever going to let her go alive?

Heading out, he turned towards the door to his quarters and saw Andrea O'Reilly. She was a student, why knock at his door for anything? He suddenly remembered Charles Grevin still unconscious in the medbay.

"Good morning Andrea," he called her.

"Commissioner... Ah, I didn't expect to find you here."

"What is it?"

"Every morning I visit the medical bay, but I couldn't find Doctor Oshima. So... I came looking for you since you let me in the first time."

She bit her lower lip, hands nervously clasped in front of her. She had no idea. Jonas nodded and walked with her back to the ship.

"What's going on?" she asked shyly as they proceeded out of the compound.

"We have a missing supervisor."

"I've heard about that... I want to help, but how..?"

Jonas slowed to a stop, realizing that she was an astronomy major.

"What do you know about planetary magnetic fields?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

She woke up surprised not to be in her own room, in a bed, but inside the vat full of jelly. Her chest was in pain as she gasped to breathe, feeling her lungs full of liquid because she was drowning. How could someone drown for so long and not be dead?

Kim brought her arms up and pushed the canopy to escape. Punching it didn't manage to open it either. It was dark outside of her transparent sarcophagus. And in her attempts at panicking and screaming, she only made her case worse by using up what little energy she had left. Obviously she was able to breathe the fluid in the vat so she had time to think. Was she being taken somewhere like this? Would she ever come back to her people? Would she see Jonas again? If someone was looking for her they could be searching a long time unless the aliens released her first.

And if they did, she would serve a purpose of theirs otherwise they had no reason to let a live witness run about, jeopardizing their cover. Because these people wanted to stay hidden, as far as she could see. Kim had to change that. Why else would they keep her alive?

She patiently waited for something to happen, feeling no sensation of hunger or thirst, being fed by what she understood was the nutritive yellow fluid that she breathed. Hours, perhaps a day had passed since she had left the colony and, the only problem aside from being stuck in a vat, was that she had to go. Unable to move or reach her knees, she had to relieve herself in her suit hoping that there was a waste evacuation system in this pod. Because if there wasn't, she would soon be reabsorbing something foul. Slumber took her away again.

Something strong pulled her quickly out of the thick water, raising her chest up and she got nauseated, threw up over the edge of the pod for what seemed like minutes. Not only were her lungs full of breathing gel, but her stomach was, too. Her brain was about to explode and she recognized signs of fever, she felt herself sweating and yet she was shivering. Lifting her eyes up she saw the tall white-skinned alien, his sleeves rolled up revealing developed muscles in his forearms.

"What do you want from me?" she asked after she finally spat out the last of her vomit.

The alien being had no reply for her but to leave her alone. Kim shook her head in despair. It took some work to get stable on her feet. After all it had been what, a day? Two, maybe? She needed to see daylight to regain notion of time.

A folded black fabric was given to her by large white hands. Taken aback by the gesture, Kim froze and made eye contact with the alien who impatiently pressed the item against her arms. It appeared to be clothing when she inspected it, as she held them in front of her they unfolded like a robe with sleeves and leg pants of some sort. Good, she thought, since her suit was uncomfortably useless and heavy from all the jelly. But taking it off would feel like not being part of the _Archimedes_ mission anymore. She opted for practicality and removed the bio-suit, feeling the fresh air against her bare, wet skin as she did so. Her trembling didn't improve and she felt dizzy. It wasn't so much the fact that a towering pale alien was looking down on her half-naked form, but the realization that she felt completely abandoned by her crew. She touched her new sleeves. The clothing had a strange canvas fabric that was smooth to the touch and yet rough in aspect. It fit her, to her great surprise, because she wouldn't expect these people to have short friends other than herself.

"So you want me to dress like you but you don't want to talk to me anymore?" she sarcastically said. Kim placed her bio-suit over a nearby table with her boots sitting upside-down to dry. The thought of the alien having remorse for brutally handling her crossed her mind.

"You were decontaminated," he finally spoke, his English enunciation improving drastically.

She looked at the vat that was her bed for the past hours. "And I thought I wasn't used to lemon jello. Speaking of which, I need to go to the bathroom."

"We prepared you for a long voyage," he explained, "I will help get what you need to be comfortable."

Kim ran her hands through her soaked hair, sniffling sadly at the feeling of being captured against her will. He gestured for her to follow him. Walking barefoot behind the alien, she brought herself to accept that it was her only hope to survive.

"Does everyone here know English like you do?"

"No," he answered solemnly, looking right at her with his black eyes. "I took it upon myself to learn to speak your language when you came aboard."

"What?" She tried to walk as briskly as she could, holding her bladder and keeping up with his long strides. "You didn't know any English before I arrived?"

She thought she saw a hint of a smirk on his pale lips.

"I have studied your culture and only learned to read and hear your language. When you were in decontamination I had time to study it further."

"Then you learn extremely fast... What is your name?"

The question made him stop in his pace, giving her a stern look.

"You may call me Ikar."

His voice had alien undertones and an inflection she wasn't sure she could reproduce. She attempted a pronunciation.

"_Eeh-kar_?"

He nodded gravely, and she put a hand on her breast.

"Kim."

Processing the information, he tried to say her name in his low voice, emulating the English 'k' sound as best he could. It sounded strange to hear her name being spoken by an alien.

They proceeded through the dark hallways. She was taken into a small chamber of sorts, with what looked like cushioned seats in a circular formation around a low table in the center of the room. The walls around it had three more openings to other rooms.

"Is this a cabin?" she asked.

He led her across the chamber and into another room. It was spacious, giving her an idea of how big the ship really was.

"It is... a living area," he said. He motioned a hand towards a smaller room ahead. "Private waste disposal."

Kim nodded, grateful, before rushing into what she understood was the bathroom. She found a waist-level sink and the farthest wall had a translucent veil aspect, she guessed it was a shower type of thing. The toilet was made of the same dark metal-like composite matter as the rest of the materials around. There was no water in the bottom of the bowl, but she imagined it had some sort of suction system to eliminate wastes. Her feet didn't touch the floor when she sat down, it wasn't as comfortable as she'd liked but it was better than doing her business in a corner or a litter box.

As soon as she got up and stepped away from the toilet, it closed up with a shutter lid and there was a flushing sound, quite similar to the plumbing systems they used in the _Archimedes_. Her mind wandered; why didn't they try to contact her? Was she far from the planet now? Would she ever get to see her crew again?

There was no mirror in the bathroom, as if that species had no care for their appearance, maybe their lack of hair gave them no kind of narcissistic behavior. She found a sink and a faucet that activated automatically when she placed her hands underneath, expelling a clear liquid she could only assume was water. She splashed her hands and face, and didn't find any kind of dryer or towel. She used her new clothes to dry her hands and face, appreciating how soft the fabric was against her skin.

Ikar was sitting on the edge of a large sort of bed, patiently waiting and stood up when she got out of the bathroom. A strange feeling went through her body when she realized they were in a bedroom. For how long was he going to stick around? He came closer and raised a hand over her head. Kim squeezed her eyes shut in pure reflex, hoping he would be quick if he wanted to harm her. She felt the weight of his hand upon her scalp, running slowly down the side of her head, smoothing down her damp hair. He ran his fingers through the strands and approached his face closer, smelling her dark locks with genuine curiosity. Kim looked up at him, as puzzled as he was.

"Had you never met Humans before, Ikar?"

"No. The last time my people were in the presence of Humans, it was very long ago."

The thought of the Anunnake coming to Earth in the ancient times crept back in her mind. Ikar let go of her hair and took a step back.

"Where are you taking me?" Kim asked, hoping to get a clear answer.

Parting his lips slightly, she saw his hesitation.

"To my home world. My task is to bring you in for studying."

"Studying?" she repeated, and looked around them. "We have to travel to your planet for that?"

"You can tell my people what your world is becoming, and we can gain knowledge of your species. You must remain with us from now on."

Her heart almost stopped at the thought of being taken away forever. Kim swallowed but couldn't get rid of the fear blocking her throat. Ikar reacted at the sight of her face decomposing with the shock, grabbing her upper arm as some sort of comfort. Kim shook it away furiously, in vain. His strength was phenomenal and she only managed to hurt herself by resisting. He caught both her arms and sat her down on the bed as she started to whimper miserably.

"I'm sorry," he said, letting her go but stood over her like a creepy guardian. "You must cooperate, it is for the greater good."

Kim remembered her thoughts of sacrifice, devoting her life for humanity and expanding the limits of universal awareness thanks to her research. She never thought it to become this real, and being surrounded by the unknown. She was terrified and her animal instincts told her to escape, find a place to hide, or fight back. It took all of her self-control to reason with herself: she had to do as she was told and gain knowledge, take advantage of this golden opportunity she was given.

"Okay," she said, calming herself down. "Am I a prisoner?"

Ikar took a knee in front of her, making eye-contact. His stare was unsettling but she was no longer upset with his appearance, accepting that he was different and benevolent. She wondered what his profession was, if he regularly abducted people and was used to flash-learning alien languages.

"As a pacific creature you are not a prisoner among us. But you may not wander throughout our ship. If you need to see something specific you may do so in my presence. Not everyone is so understanding of your species and will attempt to destroy you if they wish."

"Why are you different from them?"

He raised a hairless eyebrow.

"Is every Human the same, where you come from?"

Something about his reasoning reminded her of Jonas, but she pushed the thought away, knowing it would only make her angry and sad that she couldn't see her friend again.

"We're all different," she admitted, "but most of us choose to be similar, in order to fit in. It's the herd mentality."

"What did _you_ choose to be, Kim?"

His question got her to ponder her choices, staring at her hands in her lap. They looked so tiny next to his, resting over his knee not so far from hers.

"I followed my own path, I guess. I never wanted to compare myself to others but I always tried to be different."

Like going for a hike in the middle of a magnetic thunder storm at night.

"But I don't know why."

When she raised her eyes she saw him smiling slightly. His face was hard, stern, almost mean-looking. But his mouth and jawline were soft even though they inspired strength. He seemed calm, more awe-inspiring than frightening.

"Am I in danger?" she asked, her voice involuntarily high-pitched.

"Not with me," he replied. "You will be safe as long as you do as I tell you."

"Do others speak English like you can, back on your world?"

He seemed to think, moving his eyes sideways.

"I doubt it. I will be relaying your words to them, unless you would learn our language."

She would, eventually, if she had to end up living there. She bit her lips, coming to realize that her fate was in their hands. In the hands of Ikar. She began to feel differently about him, it was almost bitter.

There was a silence during which she heard the low humming of engines, or whatever moved the craft across space and time. Ikar slowly stood from his kneeling position, cautiously steadying himself on the bed. Something caused him pain, Kim guessed it was his legs or his back. She looked up, curious.

"How old are you, Ikar?"

"I could not tell you in Human terms, but for my people I am considered young. Individuals of my species live long lives. I have not yet reached half of mine."

She paused, carefully choosing her words.

"Are you hurt?"

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he resumed to his stern face.

"I have sustained severe injuries in the past," he began. "But I am well, now."

Kim couldn't repress a twitch of uneasiness as he'd confide her with that information. Did he trust her that she wouldn't take advantage of his weakness? What was she supposed to do now that she knew he wasn't at a hundred percent of his abilities?

"I must show you the rest of these rooms," he said, cutting her thoughts short.

She followed him around, feeling she'd be doing a lot of that from now on, and he motioned towards the farthest branch of rooms across the circular table and couches.

"I will be sleeping in this room. If need be, do not hesitate to wake me. Again, do not wander in the ship without me or we would have to restrain you."

"Okay," she said in a breath, catching the drift.

He turned to the middle hallway and entered. It was a larger room with dark gray furniture, seating, another table and also machinery.

"You will find food and drink here," he said, and pointed at one tall piece of technology that looked like an oval fridge with big white buttons. "I will teach you to use the food processor. Are you hungry?"

She shook her head. The time spent in the yellow goo had made her sick, she couldn't swallow anything solid, perhaps due to an effect on her stomach. Ikar seemed to understand her gesture, and worriedly looked down on her.

"Kim," he said, his voice softer yet it made her shudder hearing her name being spoken like that. "How are you feeling?"

She wasn't doing great at being excited with this new adventure. Her head tried to see it as a new life beginning, she wanted to have fun learning everything about this species and their technologies, but a flood of emotions was brought to the surface at the idea of changing everything so suddenly. Just when she had only adjusted to her surroundings on HK-427, she had to start all over.

"I think I need a moment to take it all in," she said and sighed, looking right at him. "I feel overwhelmed."

Ikar touched her arm again, slower this time, and she tried not to seem so disturbed by him anymore.

"You were under a magnetic storm, and you were lost. Had we not taken you in, I don't know if you would have survived."

Kim sucked in some air and started trembling uncontrollably. Ikar started walking her back to her room.

"I guess I owe you my gratitude," she said, unable to remove her cynical tone. "Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited that this is happening to me... It's just so sudden, and I fear for my friends. I- _care_ about them."

No reply came from the pale alien and he pulled a corner of the dark blanket, inviting her to sleep. Kim looked at him, trying to picture Ikar as something else; a warrior, a guard or maybe an ore extracting technician. He had an impressive build for a majordomo. Maybe he'd be at her door in the morning with breakfast, who knew? If he was injured it must have been bad enough that the healing took too long, or didn't take at all for him to resume his heavy-lifting work.

She realized she was staring when he tilted his head to one side, waiting in polite silence. Kim approached and, considering laying down in her new garments, drew her attention to the bathroom.

"Can you show me how the shower works? I would like to wash up."

He nodded sharply, his jaw muscles twitching a little bit. He showed her how to open and close the translucent veil, how to activate the water and adjust the temperature, showed her where they stored soap – or the alien equivalent for it – and drying towels. There were hidden compartments everywhere if she knew where to press or what to wave at.

Once alone, she enjoyed the feeling of warm water gliding down her face and back, ridding her hair of the dried out gel from the decontamination vat. Taking deep breaths, she emptied her mind, forbidding herself to worry about the things she could no longer control. She had to let go of her past, no matter how painful her memories would be.

After twenty minutes she got out and wrapped a towel around her head while drying everything else. She wanted to be clothed before exiting the bathroom, unsure if someone would be in her bedroom. Having no doors for the bathroom made her uncomfortable, it was another thing she had to adjust to. That, and the general coldness of everything. Her body was used to warmer air conditioning.

She didn't see Ikar but she found her boots at the foot of her bed, and her hazmat suit neatly folded on a nearby table. Kim took the towel off from her head and sat on the bed, untangling her hair with her fingers. She wished she had shortened them when she'd had access to scissors, now it was a nightmare to take care of without proper shampoo. Not a chance that Ikar's people would even know about shampoo.

Peering out the doorway she saw a blue light illuminating the round chamber. Ikar was sitting on the circular couch, operating a holographic console on the table, using both hand gestures and pressing white gel keys on the computer. Kim smiled at the three-dimensional graphics of star constellations, strange glyphs and scripts floating around. Ikar saw her and raised his brow. She briskly trod over and sat across from him, bringing her cold feet up on the seat.

"You aren't resting," he remarked, focused on reading a paragraph closer to the table.

"I feel better now," she assured, bringing her knees up against her breast.

Her heart was racing in anticipation of what came next. Would he reveal to her the meaning of life and the universe?

"How long until we reach destination?" she asked, thinking she'd start small.

"For you, two days."

Two days, she thought to herself, at an average of the maximum speed for the fastest space crafts she imagined, would translate into at least a light-year in distance. It was the minimum distance between stars in this part of the galaxy and that mean, by the time she'd arrived there, a year would have gone by for those who didn't travel. It was a somber thought and she decided not to dwell on it.

"Why are you not revealing yourselves to Humans?" she bluntly asked, hoping to put a huge political conspiracy to rest.

Ikar raised his eyes at her again, this time with a suspicious frown.

"Because Humans have changed. You have harnessed star-traveling, and you used your intelligence for destruction and neglected your home world. Those left as victims to the harvesters are no longer a danger to themselves or others."

"So..." she tried to process everything with a cold head. "You just decided to move on."

"The colony you established is also different, we were watching your progress."

"What were the magnetic stones for?"

"That planet used to be a seeding ground for our geneticists, until it was turned into a relay point for our scouting fleets." He blew air from his nostrils, as if exasperated by her curiosity. "Not all of us were pleased to find Humans settled near our relays. Our primary objective was to make you go away, however we did not expect to see how you treated your new environment."

"You spared us because we were environment-friendly?"

"We thought we would reach our council and report those facts to them, and reconsider our interfering policy with your planet. We do not wish for the harvesters to end up destroying it as well... for that, we must save your species for it to fight back. Only our council could allow us to act."

"But why choose me?" she inquired, almost to herself. "We have better leaders."

He brought his hands together, meshing his fingers. Again, it seemed very human and it was hard not to compare his attitude to that of people she had known. From a life that she'd never know again.

"We never choose leaders," he replied sharply.

A person with power and responsibility would try to abuse such a chance and return the situation for their own interest. Kim would never betray her principles and she would honor justice, compassion and friendship. Being hard with herself made her able to see qualities in everyone and she thought of Jonas, the only man she knew had done nothing but good deeds for the world and became their leader over night. Did Ikar know about such people? Could he even consider how much they had sacrificed over two generations ?

Kim chose not to give out any names. What if she had no better purpose than this? If she played her cards right, this alien species could change their minds about Humans. Seeing renewed hope ahead, she no longer felt tired.

"Tell me what happened with the previous humans you brought to your planet."

Ikar gave her a puzzled look as if she had asked something absurd.

"I do not know if that ever happened," he answered. "Why does it matter?"

"I'm honored to have that chance, to go to your world and meet your people. I just worry about how I should act, I don't want to offend anyone there."

He leaned back in the couch, the shadow of a smile crossing his face again. There was so little emotion he could express, she tried her best to read him through his self-control.

"I should not influence your behavior prior to our arrival," he said solemnly. "Perhaps you will want to see things for yourself and decide how to act."

She involuntarily bit her lower lip, feeling that he was telling her what she already knew, deep down. There was no way she could claim false pretense in front of beings that her ancestors would have called gods. If their intelligence was measurable, it was likely superior to hers. But even that was an assumption she needed to let go of in order to stay confident in her own abilities.

Ikar rolled his shoulders as if to stretch them, breathing out slowly before getting up with the same caution she noticed before. Kim got up as well, seeing the holograms disappear progressively.

"How did you get injured?" she asked, remembering what he'd told her.

He stopped on his way to his bedroom, looking at her with what she could only identify as a tired, endeared gaze.

"Not all foreign species are as pacific as you."

"You mean, you were attacked?"

She saw him hesitating again. If his size and strength made him appear able and wise, every time he'd stop not knowing how to react to her was a hint of his lack of experience in at least one area. He faced her and gave a look over his shoulder, checking the entrance to see if the door was closed. Kim wasn't sure it was locked, though.

"I received several blows to my back, my flesh was burned by acid and there was substantial nerve damage to my spine. Our physicians were able to recover most of my functions, but the scarring didn't take as planned."

He detached a pin at his collar and opened his vest, unveiling alabaster-white skin. He took his top off with deliberate, slow movements, his face wincing when he pulled his right arm out of his sleeve. Kim felt her cheeks heat up, embarrassed of her reaction at the sight of his huge torso. Every muscles on his chest were clearly defined, with no visible body hair, but her wonder turned to a sting of pain when she saw the scar across his back as he turned around. It was a long canyon of carved flesh that barely flattened, which meant it was fairly new, perhaps a year old.

He turned it away from her and she had her hands over her mouth in horror.

"I'm so sorry," she said, her voice almost a whisper. "You must be in so much pain."

"I survived but it will be many cycles before I can resume my combat status." He pulled out of his other sleeve, removing the entire garment. Kim fought not to stare at his impressive body. "I apologize for making you uncomfortable with that sight."

"No, don't worry about me. I'm glad you told me what happened, it took some guts."

"Guts?" he repeated.

"Courage, you know?" she shook her head internally. "It's not easy to admit having a weakness."

His lips stretched thin as if he'd relived the pain of his wound again. Folding his vest over his forearm, he resumed walking to his room. He paused before losing sight of her.

"Thank you for understanding."

She acknowledged with a nod, not knowing what to say to that.

"Kim..." His free hand took support on the door frame, as if stopping it from closing just yet. "I promise you won't have to see this again."

"Hey, whatever happens, happens."

She smiled forcefully trying to conceal the awkward feeling of shyness. Ikar smiled back, perhaps with surprise that she could lift her own mood. Didn't his species know humor?

They both retreated to their respective rooms and she sat in the enormous bed, trying to relax her mind thinking about the things she would usually do before going to sleep. There was no computer, no datapad to read, no movies or old TV shows to watch. Why humans needed so many distractions in the first place was certainly the difference between them and people like Ikar. Or maybe his room had more than hers, maybe he had a cool entertainment system that would blow her mind. She kept wondering about Ikar, what his previous life was like before he was doing what he seemed to be doing – what? Abducting people and studying them? She thought of his home, what his family and friends were like if he had any. If he had a wife, would she be the one comforting him when the pain would be too much at night?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kim woke in a startle, realizing that the dim white light from the center of the ceiling was still on, and that water was running somewhere, she heard it in the plumbing. Perhaps it was Ikar, taking a shower. She couldn't fight off the idea of hot water running down his ugly scar. She wouldn't trade places with him for anything, not if he didn't have some sort of drug or technique to handle the agony all day. The sounds of water stopped and she missed having a clock to check. It could have been minutes or hours since she'd been snoozing. If it was the morning, so to speak, she could get up again and try to get some food in her. If not then she had to doze off and hope that Ikar would still be in the mood to converse with her the next day.

The next time she opened her eyes, she pulled herself out of a dream where she was sitting in the lab of the HK-427 colony, studying magnetic fields. Her vision went from blurry to the two dark pools that were alien eyes on a pale white face. Kim yelped something unintelligible as she startled, finding herself in a blanket she'd never slept in before. Sitting up, she caught her breath as well as her senses. Ikar stepped back, holding a hand up.

"I'm sorry if I scared you."

"Dammit," she sighed, calming herself down. She'd thought she was back home, where she belonged. "Are you... Ikar?"

Strangely it came to her that she wouldn't be able to tell any of them apart since they all wore the same outfits and were all tall and white with no hair. The one standing at her bedside nodded, smiling reassuringly.

"It's still me."

Kim pulled the blanket around her shoulders, feeling cold and out of place. She squeezed her eyes shut and voices came to her, faces and comforting company that she longed for. Jonas, Victor as well. She couldn't let go.

"You may rest some more if you wish," continued Ikar. "I have prepared sustenance in the dining area."

His voice was strange to her ears compared to the familiar tones of her human friends. Would she ever hear them again? Kim began to shake and sob. Unable to sort through her feelings she decided to embrace the full blow of the shock, if only to get it over with, and hid her face in her arms and into the dark fabric of the sheets. She knew Ikar would be watching but it didn't matter for now.

She felt a depression on the mattress and the weight of a heavy hand on her shoulder. It was warm, and when she looked at it she thought it was a statue's hand. Ikar looked down at her with his inhuman black eyes. Kim couldn't let him awkwardly wait and mentally slapped herself back to reality. She slowed down her breathing and stopped crying enough to be able to speak.

"I was dreaming about my friends, they're my only family. They probably think that I'm long gone by now."

He seemed to muster an appropriate response. He probably knew more than he'd tell her.

"You may hold resentment against me and my people for taking you away from yours, but in different circumstances I would have never had the privilege to know you."

"So abducting people is the only interaction you have with other species?"

Again she was cynical and distant, her protective mechanism kicking in. Ikar seemed to take offense, lowering his brow over his eyes at her.

"I have orders and missions to complete. That is my life's purpose." He paused, for effect or because he needed to pick his words. She was sure that he was fluent enough to think in English now. "Come, you must eat."

She hesitantly took his hand as he helped her out of the alien-sized bed. His skin was soft, devoid of any hair whatsoever, but she couldn't just stop and examine it. Not now.

Once in the kitchen area there was a set of bowls and round containers on the table, all of these things in a dark gray color, either of stone or metal material. She sat down opposite of him and copied his moves. There was a large and smaller bowl that he opened by twisting a flat lid, each one containing some sort of hot porridge. She grabbed a black spoon type of utensil, while very large it still served its purpose. The large white porridge was rather bland, but with a sweet aftertaste and smelled of cinnamon. The small bowl contained a pudding-like meal with little crumbs on top. It was bland as well and she guessed it was made for more developed taste buds.

Ikar poured two cups of water and sank his down. He was done with his breakfast while she was still sampling each course. Everything was packed with protein and fiber, but her body was half their size in average, she didn't need so many nutrients in a day. Ikar observed her as he waited until she was done eating. This time he seemed fascinated by her hands.

"Shouldn't you be eating with your crew mates?" she tentatively asked.

"I have my meals by myself." He paused, looked away for a second before going on. "I develop no attachments with my scouting teams. The switches are easier that way."

Kim put the lids back on her bowls and he took the plates away, storing them in the fridge type of closet. Was it going to wash them and refill them in the morning? Kim rested her elbows on the table and scratched her scalp. It usually calmed her down but that day it had no effect. Having eaten was good, though.

"That's what I tried to do," she began telling him, trying to chit-chat. "But my last mission was about settling a new colony and creating new ties, enjoying life and staying hopeful. I was just getting used to the idea of having someone to share my days with."

Ikar froze, a few feet away from her, arms to his side.

"Were you planning on finding a mate and breeding?"

"No, hell. No." She almost instantly regretted her knee-jerk reaction to the mention of children. "But I was tired of feeling lonely, you know?"

Slowly, he sat back in front of her, looking sad.

"I know."

Kim was already tired of complaining. She looked at him and he seemed to have had everything bottled up and was hoping to have a conversation with another being, even a human one, in order not to feel alone as well.

"Why do you keep working with your injury? Can't you retire and live planet-side with a wife and kids?"

His pale lips trembled for a short instant.

"My people don't show great concern for... _damaged_ individuals. Although I'm able to fight and carry my own weight, my peers view me as unfit to defend a home. Scouting the rim worlds is the only occupation for me. I could not apply for self-sacrificial rites because of the attack on my nervous system, my genetic material is altered by the trauma. Seeding a world with damaged material would be the highest criminal act."

Still clutching at her hair, Kim couldn't shut her gaping mouth at his story. He went on.

"Do not think less of my people because of what happened to me, I am grateful to be alive and working to expand knowledge."

He appeared at peace after speaking, even though she shared his sadness, understanding too well what it was like to be left out.

"That's what I do," she said, trying to find common ground and changing the subject. "I research planets and study their minerals. But for my last mission I had to supervise my crew and the colony, people depended on me and I had to rely on them. I'm not very good with people, rocks are easier to work with."

Ikar blinked a few times.

"Are you unable to have offspring?"

"I have no idea," she said, sensing the tension rising. "I don't intend to breed. We have an overpopulation issue and I don't feel the need to have children."

"One must find a mate first," he replied, looking down at his hands. His voice lost some confidence when he spoke. "I'm sorry I have taken the chance from you to have a family."

"I'm not going back to my people, am I?"

He turned his head from left to right, jaw clenched and silent.

"I was instructed not to make ourselves known to Humans, not after what happened thousands of cycles ago. We are not your gods, we do not reward or punish. We simply perpetuate our material wherever it may strive."

"But you study us, still."

"You represent our future. We have seized to reproduce since our lifespans are... _extensive_. Overpopulation is a great concern for us, as it is becoming for you. So, once my people go extinct your mutations will show us how you will perfect our evolution." He squinted his black eyes. "Humans have failed to harness their full potential, and we don't yet understand why."

She thought she could see why. For so long, human societies were too stigmatized with bigotry, greed and false dogmas, hindering brain development and sense of compassion.

"I'll try my best to help you learn about my species," she said with renewed purpose. "But I want access to your computer. I want to learn about you as well, how you evolved and all the places you've been."

He seemed to ponder the conditions.

"Of what use will that be to you if you may not contact your people again?"

She sighed, reminded of the sad truth of being taken away from everything she knew.

"I'm not your prisoner," she decided. "So unless I die, might as well try to adapt to your culture."

Kim wasn't looking forward to the hearing with the council Ikar mentioned. If there was one thing she hated was to beg for mercy, it would make her no better than a slave. She had to use logic and reason with these people, that was the only way to earn her place.

"In time, all of your questions will be answered," he replied, a little smile stretching his mouth.

It was so strange to be in her position, Kim had to repress a shudder as she sat opposite this tall statuesque alien who was friendly, yet everything around her suggested that friends didn't belong in that ship. There was no warmth in anything, except the appliances.

"How big is this ship?" she curiously asked, looking around.

"There are five other quarters just like this one. We store enough provisions for two cycles. Sometimes, we exchange goods with relay stations and bases to prolong our deployment."

"Two cycles... that's like two years for Earth?"

"A little less." He got up, slowly but without showing any sign of pain. "You may follow me to our observation room."

As soon as she got up herself, there was a low-pitched tone coming from the central computer, and a fuzzy holographic image came to life. Ikar walked to it and pressed a white oval button. It focused into the clear moving picture of one of his crew mates who spoke in a stern Sumerian voice.

Ikar gave him a short reply and the image faded away.

"What's going on?" asked Kim.

He turned a worried gaze at her.

"We've intercepted a distress signal and we've deviated from our trajectory. Rescuing our own is part of our duty as a scouting team."

Kim felt her heart pump with excitement. She was going to see more of these aliens, the Anunnaki, and have a chance to see this crew do its job. If she was allowed to even leave these rooms, of course.

"Can I come with you?"

Seeming intensely puzzled, Ikar sharply turned and slightly leaned forward.

"Do not speak unless spoken to," he warned her coldly. "Never get out of my sight, and do not touch anything."

"Sounds easy enough. Just one second, though."

She rushed back into her room and slipped into her boots. There was no way she'd walk in those freezing halls barefoot again. Tying her loose hair into a knot, she joined Ikar at the main door and nodded to signal him she was ready. He nodded back, his lips twitching into a shy smirk as he pressed the sigils that unlocked the opening.

The crew sitting at their post in the main chamber that was the command deck took immediate notice of her, and Ikar addressed them in a commanding tone. She stood at his side as he had told her while she was being vetted for. One of the technicians – she guessed he was a tech, telling by his suit and the specific details and robustness of it – stood and seemed to study her. Ikar kept speaking and waited a moment. There was a short exchange from everyone, as if they were taking a vote, and Ikar nodded deeply in gratitude. Kim wanted to smile, feeling somewhat relieved, but knew better than to express her emotions. Neither of them seemed to show much anger or otherwise.

Ikar turned to her and gently grabbed her shoulder, looking her in the eye.

"We've agreed to let you observe our research, but you will return to your quarters during the operations."

"Will you be going out there?"

Suddenly she worried he would have to exert himself out on the field, in his condition.

"Yes." He raised a hairless eyebrow at her. "These people may not be in condition to be transported directly, if they're in danger we must help them be safe first."

The tech, and another crew member were looking at their exchange in English. Kim felt her stomach churn nervously.

"Okay. I'll do what you tell me."

She didn't want Ikar to get in trouble because of her. He made her sit in some sort of couch similar to the ones in her quarter – _their _quarters? - and she stayed silent, looking at Ikar who took a seat at a command post. He looked like a leader, he was maybe a mission captain and everyone had their say on anything that went by him. A democracy, she thought. Their communication was sporadic if not rare when they operated the ship. Now that she had a few minutes to study them, small facial traits and individuality were apparent to her. One seemed a lot younger than him and thinner, another was more bulky and had even more severe aura about him. She saw no females, however, or perhaps they were asexual. A fourth Anunnaki appeared to be twice as old as Ikar and did not speak much; his ear lobes were particularly long. Looking at Ikar again, Kim thought he had the most appealing face of them all, or whose traits were a little less pronounced than the others. What if that closeness to humans was a genetic disorder?

Their navigational diagrams showed that they approached a vessel, something oval in shape and similar in size as their craft. It had sustained damage. Had there been an attack? Maybe they had gone through a meteor shower or flew across an asteroid field.

Contact was attempted once more with the derelict ship, up to no avail. Upon observation Kim deduced that it had been sending out a distress signal for some time in hopes that someone would take a nearby route and detect it per chance. The crew of the other ship could be long gone for all they knew. A display of the ship's schematic appeared with details of its damaged hull and several blinking dots appeared in a small cluster, inside its structure. Ikar along with two other crew members got up. The boarding party? Kim looked up at Ikar, hoping he'd not forgotten about her. He stopped and waited until she stood to follow them obediently.

"What goes on now?"

"We retrieve the survivors."

He sounded confident that he would find them, that they were there at all. Back in her assigned room and about to get the door to lock, he gave her one last gaze.

"Be safe," she said, more out of politeness than actual concern. She had no idea what he was capable of and didn't intend to undermine his skills.

Looking down over her, Ikar took a step inside, walking towards the computer table.

"This command activates communication with the deck. I will be able to hear you through this channel."

"If I just speak up you'll receive a transmission?"

"So will every member of the crew. Use it with care."

He switched the interface off and turned back to the exit after one last hesitant look.

"I'll be here, then," she said.

Kim didn't know how to be awkward and just waved him goodbye.

Solitude never bothered her before, or at least she didn't expect to feel lonely again after the _Archimedes_ mission. Perhaps it was her fate to generally find herself in this position, and she was well-suited for it in any case. Friends, family and coworkers did not seek after Kim because she didn't need them to fill her life. She had always found something to set her heart into.

Exploring the rooms which she assumed were Ikar's private quarters, she found more concealed compartments, cupboards, and storage. She busied herself making her bed after seeing that her host kept his room perfectly tidy. Her own living spaces were always messy or a little cluttered, the symptom of an ever-preoccupied mind. When she was done cleaning and exploring, she sat on the couch and started counting the minutes. Turning the console on was still a bit scary for her as she didn't want to accidentally hail the pilot and confuse the crap out of everyone. Deciding that worrying would do no good she laid on her side and napped. Something made a buzzing in her head, a low frequency vibration of some sort, and everything went black.

Coming to after what she thought was an hour, she'd heard muffled noises outside her door. How could she have lost consciousness so suddenly? Was it hypoglycemia, out of nowhere? Counting back the weeks, she didn't know when she would be menstruating again. The thought of being uncomfortable and ill-disposed made her anxious. Then it occurred to her that if she got sick, caught some disease or had an allergic reaction, how would the Anunnaki help her? She'd been relying on human medicine for so long it was a mystery how she would get by without it. If the food she'd ingested earlier had any effect on her physiology then she'd have to suffer through the side-effects instead of starving herself.

She got to the food dispenser and tried to remember how Ikar had done to get drinks out of it. Whatever her condition staying hydrated was always a priority. Successfully obtaining water she drank the whole cup but the buzzing in her head persisted. She had to lie down or she would soon get dizzy.

You're kidding, she told herself. He's out there doing some real work, with a handicap, and you're lounging around feeling sorry for yourself?

It wasn't long before she started guilting herself into actively cleaning, rearranging the few items she had in her room – her hazmat suit and the helmet – and sat back on the bed. The main door slid open in silence and she heard footsteps thumping into the apartment. Kim jumped to her feet and saw a tall armored bald man entering. It was Ikar that she recognized when he looked at her, sighing tiredly. The armor he wore was very different from what she'd seen him wear so far – black fatigues of sorts – and he had a neck seal that probably connected to a pressure helmet. Kim smiled with awe and relief. He hadn't abandoned her and she wasn't going to have to teach someone else English. Ikar walked into his room and she hesitated to follow him.

"How did it go?" she asked across the round chamber.

There was no reply or perhaps she had gone deaf? Waiting patiently she began biting her lower lip, hoping the news wouldn't be so bad that her asking would irritate him. Or had he changed his mind about keeping her in his quarters? There was rustling of clothes coming from his room.

"We had to purge the ship," he finally said, his voice a mere breath compared to what she was used to hear. "There was... an epidemic. The few who still lived would have damned us all with the contaminants they carried."

Her mouth hung open, speechless at the thought of the other ship's occupants waiting for a rescue for who knew how long. Ikar sat on the edge of his bed, dressed in a dark shirt and loose trousers, resting his forehead into his hands. He was clearly affected by what he'd seen. And what he'd done? She quietly walked into the room, against her fears of being so close to someone who'd killed people in cold blood. Innocents, condemned with a dangerous disease perhaps, but it was terribly ruthless.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"I will be, thank you for your concern." He raised his black eyes at her, apologetic. "The voyage won't take much longer now."

Her jaw tightened at the idea of meeting his species and not knowing what was to come of her.

"If I'm not a prisoner or sentenced to die on your world, what will happen to me?"

There were no lines to read on his face but he swallowed and stared ahead of him. "You would be free to live among us for as long as you learn our culture and abide by our laws."

And she was not to want to return to her own kind. Making a mental note of it, as if trying to make peace with that fatality, she kept digging for his intentions toward her.

"I would really like that," she said, trying to smile but felt sad. "I don't know how I could contribute, though."

It's been her major life dilemma; to feel useful and always applying herself in a task. She knew it was eating at her because she'd lost all purpose and all certainty. It was disturbing and she felt as if standing on a tight rope and about to fall.

Ikar widened his eyes and she didn't register him catching her when she lost all sensation in her legs and her brain felt about to explode. He carried her in his arms, keeping her conscious and she noticed how warm he was, and how good it felt to be held that way. She didn't want him to let go when he laid her on his bed, removing her shoes and pulling a blanket over her. Still she felt ashamed of being so weak, sick and unreliable. Ikar spurred into panic around her, discarding his armor into a hidden closet as well as everything he'd brought from the outside. He disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a tray of things she couldn't identify from where she lied. Propping another pillow beneath her shoulders, he helped her sit up.

"Here," he said, approaching a small cup of hot fluid.

"What is it?" she asked before complying.

"Just an infusion of herbs to stimulate the immune system and reduce fever."

Better than nothing, she thought. It tasted of sweet tea, not bad. She only drank half of it and he placed it on the table nearby.

"The last time I felt this way I had a drop in hemacytes and an iron deficiency."

Ikar raised a hairless brow, she took a breath realizing she'd used words he didn't yet know.

"It's nothing serious," she corrected, "don't worry, I just need to rest."

She was on the brink of tears when he just stood over her in puzzlement.

"How often does this happen to you?"

"It usually doesn't," she confessed, avoiding his eyes. "I feel better already."

But she knew the buzzing would return if she got out of the bed and tried to stand. One thing was certain, though; she wasn't going to stay bed-ridden until she'd face the council Ikar had mentioned.

"I will have our best physicians look at you for a cure," he said solemnly. "Our genes hold the key to all of our illnesses. We may even trade some of ours to help you."

"What?" she sat up, attempting not to confuse reality with dream state. "How close are we, genetically?"

"We're practically the same. Interbreeding with a sub-species is not unknown of, although it's rare and under many rules and exceptions."

She widened her eyes and pictured him half-naked again, feeling herself blush slightly at the idea of reproducing. Ikar looked intrigued by her reaction.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable," he continued, "or if my answers are unsatisfactory. I'm still learning your language and I don't know what I should reveal to you just yet."

"I'll survive," Kim said sarcastically. "I'm just wondering why you're so kind with me when you could just let me sleep in stasis. What if I had been an older human, or a male? Would you have taken me in the same way then?"

There was no point in cutting corners, she told herself as Ikar pinched his lips in what looked like remorse or deep thought.

"I would have nothing to gain either way," he said, almost sounding depressed. "Stasis is for the heavily injured, the unstable and dangerous individuals. You seemed harmless to me, and I wished for you to adjust as best as possible before reaching our destination."

He was keeping a safe distance, perhaps to minimize the risk of infection if her illness was a form of parasitic disease. Kim knew, though, that he was restraining himself as well. The last time he'd sat in bed with her she'd burst into tears.

"What if I can't be adjusted?" she muttered. "And the only time when I ever felt at peace was on my own, in a place where I decide what happens to me?"

"If being alone is what you wish then I'll see that no one tries to interfere in the future. It wouldn't be easy but I'll try."

He was disappointed, obviously. Kim no longer felt dizzy or weak, but her ribcage was under a weight that kept her from taking a deep breath. She sat up to inhale more properly, feeling her lips tingle. What was this now? Pheromones? She wanted to slap the senses back into her for not being more suspicious about the tea he made her drink.

"I know you mean well, but I also know you're lonely and you want to see where this is going between us." She moved a finger from Ikar to herself. "There's something you should know about me."

She paused, wondering if she was going to lie to him or to herself the most. It was a necessary lie, she had to protect herself.

"I'm incapable of being intimate with anyone." The words flew out of her mouth but her chest pains increased. "I've never been in love and I never had a mate. I never will. That's why it's best that you either put me back into stasis or get rid of me some other way."

Kim fought to not let tears slide down her face. There wasn't another moment in her life when she'd wished so badly to be hugged, held and cared for. For years she'd trained herself to fight her urges and discard anything that she wanted deep inside. Looking up, she was that Ikar had raised an unsure hand up to his heart, his face the expression of misery. Kim looked at her own hands, curled into her lap and shaking.

_What have I done?_

"What made you this way?" she heard him whisper.

"I don't know. If I knew I would probably have a different life."

Perhaps she'd respected too much of everyone else to ever try taking what she wanted, and vice versa. Her decisions had always been in relation to her outward rationality and they made her life coherent. Jonas would have tried to help her, too. And then she would retreat into her safe haven of solitude again. Nothing was ever done to bring any sort of risk or excitement, aside from traveling into space for years and risking her life every day by just picking at alien rocks.

"Kim."

She startled, not because he'd spoken her name again but she felt a weight on the mattress and he was coming to sit near her. Breathing through his open mouth, she saw that he was nervous yet his hands didn't tremble when he reached to touch her face. His white, marble-like skin was warm when she put her hand over his. The absence of hair made his skin the softest she'd ever felt. As he riveted his black eyes into hers her heart started to race. Ikar sat in front of her, taking her knees over his lap and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She'd have cried in despair just a moment earlier but now she found herself smiling.

_What's wrong with me?_ She nestled her head against him, breathing his sweet scent wondering if it was natural or from a sort of perfume. Her hair that she had tied in a knot was now flowing around her shoulders and she felt him stroking down her back. He pressed his forehead to hers making her entire body tingle.

"How do you feel now?" Ikar asked.

A little voice in her head was crying out "Stockholm's syndrome!" but she ignored it, deciding that only her happiness mattered. She let tears flow down the sides of her face, trying not to sob too deeply.

"Different," she said, still trying to stay in control of her emotions.

He blew air from his nostrils in a chuckle. He seemed so _human_ to her. And when she touched his hairless head, gently running her hand around the back of his skull, it sent her back to reality. Ikar was an alien, one of the Anunnaki. It was terrifying to think about. Her hand shrunk back to her breasts and she found it hard to breathe, panic taking over her.

He pressed her tighter against his chest, caressing her hair. His strong arms were reassuring but she couldn't get over the fact that he was... an _alien_.

Dammit. Why can't you just sit back and enjoy anything? She wanted him, she thought, deep inside her belly and in her heart she wanted his body, his mind, everything. He was huge compared to her and it would hurt for days but she was ready. They were moving too fast, she was aware of that too but she had so many years and wasted time to catch up.

But her mind said "don't" and she was stuck, sitting there while he rocked her slowly in a moment of peace and caring so much for her. Kim focused on her breathing, trying to accept that this was the best possible outcome for this situation and in that moment she could ask Ikar for anything. Because he was obviously happy that she was there, and they weren't lonely anymore.

_He will protect me_, she told herself._ I can feel safe_.

"What will happen after my hearing?" she asked, lightly caressing his cheek with fascination.

Ikar grabbed her hand to kiss it. "You worry too much."

"Am I not entitled to worrying? Considered-"

"You're not a prisoner," he continued. "I promise you, everything will be okay."

She wanted to believe him, however thinking about his so-called handicap and the way his society had set him apart, how could he guarantee her safety? In her mind, she began to think of plans to escape her fate, and his own, by capturing the ship together and flying towards the depths of space, never having to obey any command. There was always that option.

Kim hugged Ikar, suddenly aware that a relationship could be mutually beneficial for them. If finding a mate was that important he would regain status and she would learn to fit in and get a sense of belonging.

"It may seem frightening for you right now but you need to believe me," he told her, stroking her hair. "No one would dare to harm you for the accomplishments you've made for your species."

Sitting face-to-face she looked at him, trying to decipher the look of honesty in his expression and trying to remember it. Ikar straightened with a deep breath and tentatively adjusted a stream of hair behind her ear.

"I would let the universe have its way with me once I know you are well and safe on Esharra, my home." His melancholic smile broke her heart.

"What if I refuse to stay there? Would there be any way to take me back to my kind?"

Ikar looked away, pinching his lips in disappointment.

"If that is what you wish, I would plead for you."

He didn't believe in those odds for one second, she guessed. Kim decided to forget about these hopes of happiness and optimism. She needed to get out of his room and patiently wait for the next day to come.

"You should rest," Ikar said, following her as she cautiously stepped towards her room. He was steadying her by the upper arm when she appeared to lose balance. "Your complexion has gone more pale since yesterday."

"Look who's talking," she snorted mockingly, catching the edge of the circular couch. "You can let me go, now."

And he did. Kim felt like crying but did her best not to let her weakness show. She made it back to her room and almost let herself crash into the bed. Heavily lifting her buttocks onto the mattress she turned and Ikar was in the door frame, a look of deep sadness across his perfect face.

Perhaps being alone really was killing her, but how could she prove it and what kind of survival skills had she learned all those years? She wasn't going to let this emotional battle take her down so easily.

He sighed.

"What would you do if you were me?" she asked to make him understand.

"Only you know what is best for you, but..." he leaned against the door frame, folding his arms across his chest, "I don't think you know how much you are worth."

Something in his voice, in his eyes, made her mind snap. How could he be so certain?

"You've been studying me since we landed on that planet, haven't you?" She accusingly stared at him. "You picked _me_ for your own interest while I was about to be rescued."

After all, he had probably been living through hell and suffered through too much frustration to pass up the chance to pick up a young virgin female to keep as his play thing.

"You just couldn't help yourself..."

_Stop it. You fucking hate yourself, that's why you can't see how much he cares_.

"I didn't know it was you, that night," he reflected.

She looked up to speak again but she was alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Esharra was minutes away as they entered the star system, emerging from hyper-speed traveling through alternate planes of existence. Ikar had never tried using those parallel dimensions to do more than reaching from one point to another across the galaxy. He'd been fine obeying the naval fleet's commands for almost a thousand years.

_There is an alien in your quarters, don't you forget that_.

Pelak was at the helm exchanging navigation notes with Telenir, the dean of the crew who was ready to mark his hundred-thousandth year once they returned home. Pelak had a group of loyal friends and brothers in arms to come back to, after his scouting duty. Every foot soldier needed experience in deep space before earning their title as warriors.

"Are you ready?"

Ikar turned around and saw Enlir, the cadet of the group, coming to sit beside him at the command deck.

"What are you going to tell the council?" he continued.

"The truth," Ikar replied to him, trying not to sound defensive.

"You shouldn't let your emotions show, Ikar. Even if everyone understands where you come from, only pain can come out of a story like that."

Ikar took a deep breath and pressed the pressure regulation system diagnostics. Diagrams flew across the space above him as the constellations and planetary trajectories superimposed with his vision.

"Commencing descent," said Telenir.

He was the pilot, laconic as they'd come and with more on his mind than anyone could imagine. Ikar had tried sharing quality time with his elder in the crew but even with such a great wisdom, Telenir couldn't help but express pity toward him. Telenir was a master in several crafts, taught younger and less young pupils and served the fleet to attain recognition among the society of elders, the council. The logic behind service was simple: to help even the most accomplished to retain humility and set their priorities straight. So when someone spent more than hundreds of years roaming the stars, it meant that they still needed to learn.

The ship's fuselage adjusted to the change of pressure under the pull of Esharra's gravity. The atmosphere was forming a bright blue crescent over the jet-black backdrop of space. The two suns were on the other side of what was nighttime on the surface and, contrarily to other civilized worlds, city lights weren't visible from orbit. Everything seemed as though Esharra was still in its pristine condition.

Ikar didn't have a place to live there, his family house had been repossessed a few years after his rehabilitation as a sentinel and both his parents had transcended. His siblings had not given him sign of life, though. Respecting their wish not to be associated with him any longer, he hadn't tried to contact them. His life was in the hands of whoever gave him a purpose.

Flying through the atmosphere took only a few minutes before reaching the capital. He usually enjoyed landings, looking at the slivers of water growing into rivers and the mountain peaks disappearing into layers of white clouds. But not this time. He needed to get Kim out of his head.

"We are clear for landing," told Telenis in his atone voice.

The schematic showed the ship hovering over a wide flat-topped hill, and slowly lowered itself into an opening iris in the ground. Ikar got out of his seat, feeling the slight tension between his shoulder blades where scar tissue had replaced some of his nerves.

"Going somewhere, Ikar?" Pelak barked at him. He hadn't actually shouted but his tone suggested otherwise. He didn't want to have another confrontation.

"I'm going to say goodbye."

They all sat in silence as he left the deck.

Walking back to his quarters he felt the familiar grip of emotional numbness in his ribcage. The few seconds preceding the door seemed to last forever. He was meant to live the rest of his life like this. So many times he had tried to end himself, provoking danger and putting his skin up for cheap risks. But that kind of death wouldn't result in transcendence. His memory would be erased and his name banished from all mouths. In order to reach higher planes of being, he needed to find completion.

He needed it desperately now that he had to let go of what he thought was the answer to his unspoken prayers.

"Kim?" he called when he looked around his apartment. He knew she couldn't be anywhere else but he had to announce himself for the sake of politeness. Humans took great pride in their manners and how they appeared to each other. "We've arrived."

She was sitting in her human attire, with the full body-fitted suit and the big transparent helmet in her hands. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she raised a tired face at him. Even then, he found that her beauty surpassed all of the darkness that she constantly battled with. Hesitantly entering her room, he wanted nothing more but to touch her face, run his fingers through her silky black hair and smell her scent again.

"Okay," she said, docile, and got up.

Pushing the physical thoughts out of his mind, Ikar lead her down the corridors, hoping she wouldn't trip over an unexpected gap that she couldn't see. There was plenty of light for him, having the ability to see more colors than humans, but for Kim it was probably all very dark and grim. The idea of holding her hand crept in his head but he waved it away. From his past observation of the last thirty days, he'd known that she refused to depend on anyone.

Arriving at the fork between the airlock and the elevator, he paused but merely for a second. He chose to take the elevator. It took them a bit more than a floor up, and the sole corridor climbed to a unique room that he had meant to show her for some time now. Ikar opened the hatch and stepped out.

"What...? Oh, _wow_."

It was night time but the view was still something not to miss. Ikar looked at a gaping-mouthed Kim, amazed at the sight of Esharra under a blanket of stars and moons. Along the horizon, they could see the flat formations of mountains and hill, with circular landing pads and straight roads crossing the green valleys in-between. It was a particularly clear and warm night, and if they were really quiet they could hear birdsong in the close distance.

"So this is Esharra?"

"Yes."

She walked across the observation room, probably trying to understand how they could possibly see through such a wide canopy and still be aboard a space ship. A simple optical illusion and holograms made it seem like they were standing on top of a mountain and not in the confines of a craft, in a bunker. Her sense of wonder was endearing, and her smile made his heart beat strong again.

"Where are your cities?" she asked. "I see roads but I don't see any buildings."

"They're hidden underground," he said, pointing at the closest mounds. "Some of your structures are also made that way."

She nodded, turning to look at something else, avoiding him.

"Which one will you take me to?" Her voice had gone stern again; she was anxious about leaving the ship.

"We are already there," he said. "I just wanted you to see the valley from above."

Clutching the helmet in her arms, she looked overwhelmed at the thought of exploring this world. It would be her home, _her_ Esharra from now on. She would grow old and hopefully transcend among the ones that had taught her ancestors how to master the elements.

Unless she would keep on feeling pain. As someone who constantly felt it through his body, Ikar could tell when someone was trying to hide being hurt, when emotions were trapped and their soul was tied down in the depths of despair. But she was a strong woman, for her size and what little she had seen of the world. When her crew had all found their ties she was the one left to wander by herself for hours if not days, and rarely anyone would call on her.

"How many other worlds can you live in?" she asked.

"Too many to say..." Ikar thought hard to remember why it wasn't so important to move from home or your ship. "The Anunnaki have been space-faring for millenniums, but we always remember Esharra."

"Any other humans like me, here?"

"No," he didn't want to disappoint her. "I have no idea what the council will decide for you."

Her constant reminder of belonging with other humans annoyed him at some point. From his observations when she was with them, she was never really _with_ them.

"And you will have to leave the planet, is that what you said earlier?"

"Undoubtedly. That is my function in the fleet."

She nodded sharply, her jaw muscles tensing. "Any plans to do something else?"

He had, but any other kind of research required extensive teamwork and responsibilities that his status couldn't have access to.

"I like what I do," he eventually replied after thinking over his options.

"You killed innocent people today."

"No," Ikar retorted, wincing at the thought of her remembering what he'd done and he regretted that her opinion of him had changed. "They were ready, they knew we had no other choice."

They had _begged_ him and Pelak to shoot them down. The parasitic worms were just about to burst through their rib cages before they could breathe their last wish. Death had been their last hope to find peace. The rest of the derelict crew had died from the attacks of the alien creatures, or flushed out of the airlock along with the intruders. Kim wasn't going to hear about this kind of stories before long.

"I don't know what to think about that," she said. "Everything is so unfamiliar. This ship, your world, your people, the way you think..." She looked at the helmet between her hands and let out an impatient sigh. "I think I'm ready to face your council. When are we meeting them?"

"It's still night time, we have time before dawn."

Ikar stepped towards the hatch and looked over at Kim, standing still and looking at the stars above. Was she looking for her home planet?

"How long has it been for my colony?" she asked. "How long have I been gone?"

It hadn't occurred to him that a certain time had passed since they left the beacon system and that people would be expecting her return there. They had gone across half the galaxy and in the two days they'd known each other, weeks, perhaps months had passed for Kim's people.

"I don't know the exact amount of time," he cautiously answered. "Thirty days, perhaps more."

He was better at words than numbers.

"Earth days?"

"Approximately."

"To be honest, I expected worse."

There was a long pause. She needed a moment to process it all: the one-way trip, being the only human there, never getting to see her friends again. But Ikar couldn't afford the risk of her getting lost in the ship if he left her alone.

"I was in love with a man," she suddenly said, "our mission leader. But he had modified genes that could be transmitted if we got intimate. He could almost live forever and heal from anything. There were others like him on Earth but... There was a change of government and they had to cancel their operations. They protected the environment and non-human life. Anyway... I loved his ideals and his sacrifice for the world. But I couldn't picture myself standing by him until the end of time."

Ikar slowly blinked his eyes, processing the new information as he begun to understand her ordeal. The reports and communications he had intercepted explained much about these secret operatives who fought against human-centric interests such as meat-eating or abusing ecosystems to fuel greedy machines. Kim stepped back near him.

"It would be comforting to let him know that I'm okay, even though I'll never come back."

The quiet resolve in her voice made his throat clench. He bowed his head to her in deep respect.

"We'll send a transmission," he assured.

To some extent, he wanted nothing more but for her to be happy even if it meant not seeing her again, if she was ever allowed to go back to her kind. Ikar knew that, even as an estranged and marginalized member of his species, he'd want to be able to come home after some time.

They slowly walked back inside the ship. In the main airlock the entire crew was there and they turned their cold gazes on Kim and Ikar. There was an awkward silence before Telenir spoke up, in a hesitant English.

"Good luck."

They exited out of the lowering hatch ramp, wearing their hoods over their heads. Ikar wasn't sure if they were talking to Kim or if those words concerned him as well.

"Not very chatty," said the woman.

"They are concerned with the time they have left before their next deployment. Being home is a privilege for us in the fleet." Especially for him, he added internally. "I would take you to the great halls now."

He hadn't seen the inside of the sacred gathering place in decades. Whenever he was summoned to see the council something had either gone wrong in his life, or he expected bad news. They were in charge of deciding what was to become of a being when freedom had to be taken from them. They walked by gigantic statues of the first star-travelers, the ancient stone-heads that reminded each visitors that they should honor their great heritage. Kim approached the sculptures and studied them in detail. She attempted to decipher the glyphs carved on them, stories that told their experiences and the important lessons to be learned from them.

"This is Uros," he calmly told. "He was the first traveler to explore the Rim worlds, bringing back alien life forms that we could study. From there my ancestors were able to develop genetic sequencing."

Eyes wide in amazement, Kim turned to him and let out a perplexed sigh.

"He looks so similar."

"We designed our own evolution thanks to his advances, instead of letting the chaos of the universe decide for us."

"Sounds a lot like you refused to be controlled by any superior power. We're the same... My own race." Kim continued walking down the hall. "Are all these statues representing a technological advancement?"

Ikar followed her after pausing to look at Kilu, the first pioneer in space ship engineering.

"Pretty much."

She laughed shortly. "You're picking up on my good English."

"Since you're the only person that I talk to, it was going to happen eventually."

"Well, I'm gonna need to write this all down to remember your history." She turned on her heels. "You probably know all of mine already."

It was an accurate assumption. From the time he'd been assigned to the Orion branch the priority for him had been Earth – or _Eridu_, "home in the faraway." He'd learned rudiments of Chinese, Hindu, Arabic, Spanish and English of course as it was the language of their multinational organization. Had he not been injured he would have simply boarded a flagship towards a conflict zone and tried his luck in battle against interstellar tyrants for three decades.

"I know the main lines, but no one really bothered to study Earth in the last millennium so recent sources of information were tough to get by. I made do with what I picked up from your space-faring communications. It wasn't easy to sort the factual from the fictional."

"Oh, you're talking about our entertainment?"

"You call them _movies_, is that right?"

Kim laughed through her nostrils, her face blushing with amusement for some reason.

"Are you saying that you watched all of our movies, too?"

He had clear recollection of artistically put-together scenes of drama, tragedy, or epic stories of wars in completely different universes... Then there were less serious settings and caricatures, also crude depictions of human coitus that clearly showed how different their species were in terms of physical ethics. That was probably the reason why Kim was acting embarrassed.

"I had time to study your culture. It was very confusing at first... Though I did enjoy the synthetic characters. Why were they intended for children? Those were smart."

"The animation movies? Yeah, I used to love those." She was evidently impressed with him. "Have you kept them somewhere?"

"Of course," he replied proudly. "Everything is on my computer station."

"I guess we could watch something some other time."

She continued walking beside him down the halls. Ikar enjoyed her company in this special moment of both nostalgia and adventurous excitement. The taste of risk crept back in his mouth as he noticed the changes in his physiology, of feelings he hadn't felt since his very young age.

"We're getting closer to the council chamber, Kim. It's time we introduced you to my people."

"Okay. Let's get this over with." She shrugged as she said that and Ikar smiled, more as a way to minimize his anguish than to reassure her. "What have I got to lose?"

"We will see."

He activated the sigils by the door that slid open to reveal a wide room filled with morning sunlight. There were no windows but through a simple play of reflecting mirrors and shafts everything was as bright as day. Ikar stepped forward with Kim at his side, looking at each of the elders standing in a circle, talking amongst each other in hushed tones. They all went silent when they spotted him and the human female.

"Revered members of the council," Ikar announced respectfully, "this is the human we've rescued from a magnetic storm on the beacon planet. Her name is Kim, she is an explorer and a mineralogist for her kind."

They slowly came closer around a visibly worried Kim who did her best not to shock them. One of the elders, his name was Zahili if he remembered well, spoke up.

"What did you learn from this female?"

Something made him swallow hard as he tried to answer the question. Ikar hoped it wouldn't be interpreted as doubt from his part.

"She is from Eridu. Her colony was devoted to ethical progress to evolve towards a better civilization. When I spoke to her I recognized the signs in her behavior that those changes were genuine."

Kim looked suspiciously at him, her eyebrows lowered. Ikar continued.

"She doesn't speak our language. May I have a moment to consult with her?"

"Yes, Ikar," said Utala, the female governor of the northern hemisphere on Esharra.

He took a breath and placed a hand on Kim's shoulder to get her attention, she was looking intently at Utala.

"Do you have anything to say to them?"

"Uh," she hesitated but turned around to face the council, "well, I'm honored to be here and I have a lot to learn about everything... I wish to spend more time with Ikar to learn your language and your customs. Also, I understand that I can never return to my people and I respect this rule."

Ikar translated as Kim stood obediently in the middle of Anunnaki men and women towering over her. One of them eventually extended a hand to feel the texture of her hair. It was Utala, running her long and thin fingers over Kim's head. She also touched her suit and tried to smell her.

"You may reside among us," Utala said, her voice becoming soft and kind. "Ikar will be your guardian and he will answer to your actions."

Feeling his heart bounce in his chest, Ikar bowed his head in gratitude before translating back to Kim. Utala gazed at him as he did so, her expression changing back to a stern, judgmental look.

"Are you still affected by your wounds, Ikar?"

"Yes, Elder Utala." He made eye-contact with her but found it hard to hold her gaze.

"You have been a sentinel for too long, child. It's time you came home to your family."

It was something in the air, or in her voice that recalled the old sorrows he'd first gone through. Ikar bit his lips to stop them from trembling.

"I have no family," he whispered, suddenly paying more attention to his feet.

A pale, aged hand gently lifted his chin up.

"You will look after this human, and for as long as she lives you will be her family. Now that she was brought here she has nothing left to live for. Do you understand?"

Ikar nodded, blinking away a tear brimming in his eyes. He saw Kim, staring at them with shock on her face.

"It won't be very long before the harvesters reach our borders," Utala added. "If she is dear to you then we will have to decide what to do with the rest of the humans. This colony you speak of must be protected."

"I understand," he finally replied.

"Go on now. I have arranged a habitat for you in the north. The fifty-seventh."

He bowed his head to her and the rest of the council. Kim did the same before turning around to walk after Ikar out to the halls. When the door shut behind them he looked at her.

"We've been granted a home to the north. Utala has instructed me to look after you..."

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes. I'm grateful for this chance she has given us."

Barely holding himself together, he wanted nothing more but to squeeze her in his arms. Kim looked relieved, and eager to move forward.

"That means you don't have to board the next flight to the Rim worlds anytime soon." She stretched her lips into a smile. "And what did she say about me?"

"She believed me when I said you were different, and she will see that your colony will be under our protection."

"That's... more than anything I'd hoped for."

Ikar let out a short chuckle, recalling hours-long footage of human debates about government work and democracy. "We don't spend as much time discussing as humans do."

They made their way through the halls and reached ground-level. There, Ikar took a moment to recollect his thoughts.

"If I was rehabilitated as a dweller on this planet I should be able to get us a private transport."

"Is it necessary?"

"The north is half-way across the planet."

"I see, and I forgot my hiking shoes."

He recognized her humor but Ikar was too busy trying to locate the transport hangars. They went from hallway to hallway and he spotted a technician worker walking by. It was a male, as old as him, who was evidently surprised to see Kim.

"What is the meaning of this?" he interjected.

"Greetings," Ikar said, ignoring his reaction. "I was assigned to take this human to the northern hemisphere by Elder Utala. Could you help me find a transport?"

The tech hesitated for long seconds.

"Of course, I will assist you. Come with me."

"The structures have changed in the last century, haven't they?"

They walked back up their tracks as they were led to the hangar.

"Climatic restrictions," he explained. "The old hangar was flooded, we had to rebuild it entirely."

As they proceeded towards the new location Ikar could see that Kim was breathing heavily, trying to keep up with them. He held out his hand and she took it, looking up at him in gratitude.

"Slow down, friend," he told the tech. "We're not in a hurry."

"My apologies, I'm not accustomed to alien life forms."

"You don't have anything to worry about."

There were twelve transports lined up on the landing strip that faced the clear horizon. The binary stars were rising over the peaks of Erkla, the chain of mountains that led east and down the valley the most sparkling river fed the forests and plains to the north. Kim stood in contemplation of the landscape, her tiny silhouette bathing in light. A calm breeze made her black hair flow gracefully over her shoulders.

"Thank you," Ikar told their guide. "Have a good day."

The tech nodded sharply and left as fast as normal pacing allowed him. Hurriedly getting into a transport, Ikar shot another look at Kim as he got at the commands and saw her through the canopy. He activated the engines, hearing the familiar buzzing and rumbling sounds that accompanied the power-up. Kim looked up and searched for him.

"Over here," he called, waving at her.

She got to a jog and rushed towards the open hatch on the other side of the craft.

"Wow." She took the seat to his right, wide-eyed and amazed at everything. "This is so cool."

Ikar couldn't stop smiling, he had longed for this and he couldn't exactly put his finger on what he felt. But it was good and he didn't want to spoil the feeling with too much thought. The craft rose from its thrusters as they flew towards the sky and headed north. Kim was excited, the air was flowing into the cabin and soon the temperature began to drop. He pressed the control that shut the hatches and they were ready to burst through the distance. He just wanted to take his time and let Kim enjoy more of the view.

"Get ready," he warned, "we have a long way to go."

They braced for the push of atmospheric acceleration, and as they reached warp-speed, the landscape changed and it was suddenly more cloudy, frost began to form on the canopy and ice covered most of the plains.

"Oh my god," she murmured.

"What about your god?"

"It's just an old saying when we see something amazing. What happened?"

"We just warped through space and time."

She grinned. "Quantum mechanics. Awesome."

Ikar spotted the habitats with their small trails in the snow-covered grounds. Each house was built with its own underground structure and landing pads. As he approached the fifty-seventh, the twisting iris opened and the craft lowered into the dark hangar. He had the doors open which sent a chill down his spine, snowflakes got into the cabin as well.

The compound lit-up when he stepped down on the ramp leading to the house. It was made of local materials, stone for the most part, and glass for the more intricate details. Ikar never liked the edgy shapes of new interiors even though they reminded him of certain _movies_ he'd watched where humans thought they knew what their future looked like in fictions.

"So this is where we'll live?" Kim asked, setting her helmet on the dark glass table in the entrance. "Not too bad."

"It's minimal," he said, opening the food dispensing machine. They would have to stock up in a few days. "I haven't lived planet-side in so long I forgot what it's like to have property."

He heard her walking from room to room, looking for every storage compartment.

"There are clothes here."

She pulled out a few outfits to set them on the bed nearby. They were far too large for her, until she found one that was nearly her size.

"That one's for children," Ikar said, looking at the dark gray robes, and the slimmer tunic that was intended for a female.

Kim brought the child's clothing against her breast to size it up on her. "How strange would it be if I wore this?"

Shaking his head, Ikar took it from her and stored everything back in the closet.

"I will get proper outfits for you later today." He felt a weight on his forearm and saw her dainty hand making him turn to face her. "What is it?"

"You don't have to cater to me for every single thing from now on, look..." She laid out the feminine garment on the bed again and scratched her scalp in thought. "I can probably fashion something stylish out of this with a few staples and thread. You got to let me have some control over my own stuff. And when I learn to speak Sanskrit I will help you with other things."

"_Bhasa_," he corrected. "That's our language."

"And when you teach me _bhasa_ I'll manage by myself."

"I trust you will do just fine," he said and moved over to the curtain across the bed. When he pulled it open, they could see the white hills and forests of the north, flooding the room with a pale luminescence as the artificial light tuned out. "This display turns on when the drapes are moved."

"Amazing," she said, coming closer to look at it. "It's eerie. I had a wall-display a lot like this one in my quarters. And this view is so much like... Sweden."

She stepped back and sat on the bed, sighing. Ikar couldn't see much going on outside, there weren't many transports in the air either. Were people alerted of their arrival and decided to move from the area?

"We should have a look around," he told Kim, sitting beside her. "But you can rest here for a while."

He touched her back, hoping to relax her as she did look nervous and tired. Her brown eyes met his and for an instant he thought time had stopped, during which he imagined being married to her, having a family, making friends both Anunnaki and human, traveling the stars and sharing happy moments. But his visions crumbled as he found himself back in the present, sitting quietly with her in front of a winter view.

"Ikar..."

"Yes?" His heart jumped in his chest, hearing her say his name with a soft voice.

"Is this... another dimension? Am I even alive?"

"I know it may seem confusing but we're still on the same plane of existence. It's just more quiet out here than I remember. But you are still you, and I am still me." He looked at his hand and noticed with surprise that it was shaking slightly. "We will need time to adjust."

"Come," she said and rose to her feet. "Let's have a walk outside."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ikar was born and bred in the southern regions, and this cold weather was never his favorite, especially not during his training with the military. Wearing a thicker coat over his tunic, and actual boots to prevent sliding on patches of ice, he found that simply walking down the little paths a pleasant experience. Kim had taken the child's cloak to wear over her body-suit and she clung to his arm as they walked.

"Pardon me if I'm repeating myself," she said, "but this is so much like a Christmas postcard from Sweden. I visited there once and enjoyed it. I like the peace and calm."

"Long before my ancestors, there used to be huge cities on Esharra," Ikar told, making vapor clouds in front of him. "They invaded all of its surface and people had forgotten what a patch of dirt looked like. Then terraforming made its appearance and someone triggered a war. It destroyed everything and a lot of people died..."

They suddenly came to a halt as something moved the snow on their right, just behind a small hill next to the road. An antlered mammal jumped and leapt across the plain, having been startled by them.

"Was that... a deer?" Kim asked, smiling even though she seemed a little scared. "Sorry, you were talking about a war."

"It killed all of the wildlife, too." He looked at the bouncing point that the animal had become, rushing into hiding in the nearest bushes. "But the terraformers had stored all of Esharra's biosphere into a gene bank. They used it to repopulate everything. It took thousands of years to restore the planet's original state. They forbid anyone from landing on it for a long time... Until they disappeared, but their teachings remained. No more did the Anunnaki build cities on Esharra. We were space-bound for a while, then we came back."

"Building underground is the way to go," she agreed.

"For a limited development it's the ideal habitat. People here are retired from space-faring, they don't do much."

"You mentioned children... What do they do? Where are they?"

"They grew up."

A few seconds passed, and Kim punched his ribs as he chuckled.

"I knew you were funny."

"Ah, well there haven't been any natural births in ages. I don't recall knowing anyone trying to reproduce that way, we're all bred artificially on a mother ship. Couples who wish for a child need to apply for a selection and the criteria are very strict. There can only be one new child for every thousandth year or so. Because of our lifespan."

"What? How long do you live?"

He hesitated, perhaps he was telling too much too soon and it could frighten her.

"Our bodies start to wither after forty thousand years."

"Holy shit... That means, you're older than anything I've ever heard of, on my planet."

"Thanks, that makes me feel special." He was starting to grasp the concept of irony, and she was amused by it.

"Aren't there any markets, stores or other places people can gather to?"

"There are schools in the south, a training academy and a therapy center. What did you have in mind?"

"I want to see how people normally live around here."

He hid his hands in his pockets, looking for warmth as he mustered a reply.

"There's no such thing as normality, not in the way I experience things."

He couldn't say if it was his own generation or just himself who favored introspection as opposed to socializing and conforming with the majority. But no one had ever asked him to be something he wasn't, it was common decency to let the events in his life take their natural course.

Non-interfering behaviors, just like the houses were built in order not to disturb the wildlife.

"I will show you some of my family's history archive," he added after a thoughtful silence. "Once you become familiar with our language and customs we will visit the south, where I was raised."

"Are you still in touch with your folks?" Eyes to the ground, she spoke cautiously.

"They know that I still live, which is enough." Ikar gave her a calming caress on her shoulder. "Have you thought about what message to send back to your colony?"

"I haven't done my homework yet. Can't blame me for being overwhelmed right now, can you?"

"Of course not... I'll show you how to use the transmitter from the main console, that way you can record your message on your own terms."

And if she decided not to contact her people after all, it would be all the better. Ikar wasn't ready to trigger a diplomatic incident by interfering with humans.

They returned indoors to their newly acquired home, stomping off the snow from their shoes as they entered. It was nearly night time and while Ikar demonstrated how the computer system worked, Kim dug into a bowl of soup he'd programmed from the food processor. Eating silently she seemed to absorb his instructions with intense focus. He even got to slip a few words of his native tongue into the course. She struggled with the consonants but kept trying until speaking in the foreign language came naturally to her.

He taught her basic greetings and conversation sentences, making his explanations simple and straight-forward. From there, he began showing her the genealogy of his ancestors and the different types of dynasties emerging from Esharra. Reviewing the past made him slightly light-headed, as if he'd used a psychotropic substance for the occasion. Seeing the familiar faces reminded him of forgotten promises, old resentments and heartache. When he described his parents and his younger siblings he avoided as many details as possible to spare Kim the sight of him being emotive again. She did not ask to be further educated on his background which made him glad to move on to different topics.

Ikar went over the basic political structure of their government before explaining the social customs and rituals. Both aspect of the society went hand-in-hand, in the sense that individual rights and duties affected the community in every way.

"Most of our discussions are done through indirect messaging to allow for enough time to think things through," he said, explaining the unspoken conversation rules. "Decisions take time, but when we do meet to get things done, we always have answers."

"You probably never heard of the word stalling, then."

"I know what it means but I haven't noticed anyone stalling in order to get what they wanted."

"Since you do all of that thinking on your own," she pondered, "there's nothing you leave to neglect, not even the things you'd rather not think about?"

His family members came back to his mind like a cold breeze.

"I try not to let myself be overwhelmed by events that are out of my control."

She held his gaze with a calmness he hadn't suspected.

"When humans talk that way it's their own excuse to let awful things happen all over their planet. You do care about some things that make you feel helpless, don't you?"

"Of course, I do." He tried to understand where she was going with her questions. "Even though my choices are my own, someone else in my place would behave similarly. It's how we function given the time lapse between each decision we make. Humans with their short-term memory and their short lives have a lot more at stake."

"So, you're basically giving everyone an excuse not to do anything to right a wrong, because it's not their place to do it."

"No." Ikar caught himself shaking his head regretfully, feeling he had spoken too fast and sent the wrong impression. "No, that's not how it is. Control is about knowing the extent of one's actions. Causes and consequences, we're able to measure those things. You humans only think short-term. Sometimes, inaction is a form of control... You look disappointed."

"Sorry, I guess this conversation struck a chord in me," she said with her voice shaking. "You did say you wanted to help Earth and my people, back on that planet. So I'm a bit confused."

The only chance for her to save her homeworld was through his people, getting his help and wisdom. It wasn't a surprise that his talk of doing nothing made her hopes crumble.

"These circumstances are far different than what we are used to," he assured. "When the council has come to an agreement we will go to your world. You must learn patience."

"Ikar, I've been patient for my whole life." She held her face between her hands, watery eyes lost in the void ahead of her.

"And it shows," he replied. "We admire individuals with the courage to step away from the downfall of their species."

It was a matter worthy of study. Qualities such as courage and brutal change in lifestyle were symptoms of a fast evolving physiology, be it a consequence of trauma or exposure to a dangerous environment. He was curious to know what kind of mental conditioning Kim had gone through in order to build herself so resilient to sudden change and isolation from her peers.

"I need to rest," she said, with obvious tones of fatigue in her voice.

"You've done much for today," he agreed. "Let me get the bed ready for you."

As he got up and left into the hallway he noticed that she followed him, never leaving his side and helped him set up the sheets and blankets. He couldn't get around the idea of having her as his mate, however he was growing fond of her company. If she was to disappear the next day he couldn't predict how badly he'd react. If someone took her away and never told him what she had become...

"Would you tell me about the person you were in love with among your colony?" he asked her suddenly.

Kim, caught unawares, stopped in the middle of removing her suit with her eyes wide open.

"What do you want to know?"

"Did he know about your feelings for him?"

Feeling like an intruder in her mind, Ikar couldn't stop his thoughts and heart from racing in apprehension of her answer. He hoped she would shake her head and confirm that it was all in the past.

"He had... a pretty good idea, I think it was mutual." She sat on the bed, back turned towards him. "But it couldn't work. It would have been too difficult to manage."

"Because of his condition, is that what you said?"

"Everyone knew that he couldn't be near anyone, physically. That's what made it difficult so we agreed not to let the relationship grow past friendship."

She clenched her jaw after speaking, her breath becoming deeper and slower.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said, realizing that he was telling a lie. "I told you that you could contact him again, and I will honor that promise."

"You're offering closure," she said. "That's very thoughtful of you. But maybe I'm not made to be in a relationship anyway, so it doesn't matter if people know whether I live or die."

He couldn't see her face from where he stood, her black hair was in the way. It was just as well that she couldn't see him either when he failed to retain his tears. That was why his kind never spoke for too long, or never spent too much time wondering about the _what if. _Kim wasn't crying when he looked at her, leaving the room; she just sat there looking numb. He stopped at the door frame.

"Do you mean that you no longer wish to contact him?"

She furrowed her brow before giving him an answer.

"It wouldn't serve a purpose unless I actually showed up to get back in the colony. But I know now that my place is more useful here."

"Kim..." He took a breath, praying that he wasn't going to make another mistake. "I had intended for you to sleep by yourself tonight, but now I need to ask if you would share this bed with me."

Looking over her shoulder she seemed to measure the size of the bed before facing him, hesitant.

"I worry that something might happen then," she confided. "No offense, I do find you... attractive, it's just not what's good for me right now."

"That is your choice and I will respect it." Ikar took a step closer, and knelt down to get to eye-level with her. "My offer still stands, if you change your mind about just having company while sleeping."

"Is that why you are insisting?"

"I only want to make my intentions clear," he said, feeling flattered that she found him _attractive_. "You can sleep soundly beside me and I'd feel better knowing that you wouldn't be alone tonight."

She took a few seconds worth of thinking.

"That sounds appealing, actually."

A single hand gently pressed on her shoulder was enough to end the conversation and made her smile. He needed to be as strong as she was and not try to go further. Ikar had read about Anunnaki who had found mates among humans, there being stated that humans easily let themselves be ravished physically, even knowingly by aliens. This resulted every time in deep trauma, not to mention their hybrid offspring vowed to a life of inadequacy and sorrow.

The night passed uneventful and he remembered seeing her sleeping form every time he'd adjust positions due to his bad back. Her presence was soothing, even if she made almost no sound and moved very little. He was up first in the morning, lying idly for a moment and seeing Kim at his side. One of her feet brushed against his when she turned in her sleep. He needed to get up before his mind would go to places he couldn't escape unless he crossed a forbidden line. He showered thoroughly, cleaning his body and mind in order to start the day feeling optimistic, like having someone to care for turned him into a new man. He prepared food, aware that this was the second breakfast he'd share with Kim and for the first time in years he had found his appetite. She needed to wake up because he was hungry.

She lied on her stomach, hands beneath her pillow and her face turning the other way.

"Kim?" he called, approaching slowly. "Are you awake?"

And she turned to see him, moving hair out of her face and this time she didn't look shocked or afraid.

"Morning," she whispered.

He smiled back at her, feeling warmth spreading up from his stomach. She got up and he stepped back to give her some room. Kim looked up at him, scratching her head as she yawned.

"Did I snore last night? I think I do, sometimes."

"Absolutely not." He had to refrain from looking at her for too long because she would blush. "I'll be waiting to eat breakfast with you. I put up fresh towels in the washroom."

"I could get used to this," she said, disappearing into the shower. He could see her shadow removing clothes piece by piece as water poured down. "Anything planned for today?"

"We have to restock on supplies and study the Grays..." All that Ikar wanted then was right there, in that room and he wished she would want to stay in. "After that, we can do whatever you want."

"Sounds fine."

He caught himself idly waiting on the bed for her to come out. Changing into his casual attire of black tunic and trousers, Kim arrived, a simple black towel wrapped around her wet body. She had another towel tightly wound around her head as well. There was a second of mutual shock as they stared each other down, him crouching topless next to the clothing drawers and amazed by her nearly naked form.

"I—" she began to say, "I should get dressed too."

Ikar pulled a shirt and tunic from the closet and averted his eyes, hurriedly moving out of the room. The situation was uncomfortable and he blamed himself for almost intentionally provoking it. What was he hoping? That Kim would all of the sudden throw herself in his bare arms?

They met again in the kitchen and he was nearly done eating when she smiled at him embarrassingly. Her gaze lingered on his body as if noticing him for the first time.

_Ignore it_, he heard his common sense taking over.

"I can retrieve the supplies myself while you wait here," he suggested, placing the empty bowls and plates in the washer. "Showing yourself with me in the busier parts of Esharra may not be a good idea for now."

She softly replied. "I understand."

Another silence, he thought something was going to explode if he kept it going for too long.

"But it may be the best thing to do before rumors begin to spread." Ikar sighed with relief, and grabbed her hand across the table. "I'm sorry if I seem to think out loud."

"That's another quirk you're picking up from me," Kim said. She looked at their hands together. "You're trying to tell me something else, too."

He was, and they would have to wait before he could cross that specific line. He pulled his hand away and smiled respectfully in lieu of a reply.

"I don't mind knowing what you think," she continued, crossing her arms on the kitchen table. Sat on the high stool, she seemed almost as tall as a female of his species.

"Although certain things are better left unspoken."

"And actions matter more than words, right?"

She giggled, amused at her own thoughts. Ikar had no idea if he was the subject of her laughter.

"Words matter," he replied seriously. "That's how we know when to take action or not. You told me yesterday that you were afraid anything might happen between us if we slept together."

She ran a hand through her messy, humid hair and held her head to look at him shyly.

"I stand by what I said. Who knows what may happen today, and not knowing how our relationship will progress is really scary. A part of me is still... attached to my past. But when I see you, I feel like a totally different person."

Ikar furrowed his brow, wishing he had the answers to her pondering.

"It's hard to let go of what we think we are, for someone else. But yes, you're right; we're defined by our actions. We have no guarantee that either of our decisions are the right ones."

"Unless you do them for the good of someone else," she added to his reasoning.

He scrutinized her face.

"And are we in the best place to know what's good for them?"

"Maybe... if we get to know them really well?" She looked back at him, a mix of concern and kindness in her eyes. "Even then it's hard to be in that position. I can't do anything knowing it will affect someone's life in such a deep level."

"Neither would I," he said reassuringly. "There would have to be a mutual trust which takes time to build. I wouldn't have brought you to this place if I didn't know that you have what it takes to survive here. My mistake was not giving you a choice in doing so."

She squinted her eyes for an instant. Ikar continued.

"I know you could never forgive me for the way I've affected your life."

It explained why they were stuck in such an awkward moment. Their mutual attraction was blocked by the fact that Ikar was her abductor. They could never get passed that.

"By principle, no." Kim stretched her neck, thoughtful. "But how long has it been now? Four days? Since the moment I got on your ship you've been nothing but good to me. You didn't try to kill me me, you never insulted me despite the bad things my people did, and you didn't try to rape me last night. Willingly or not, you're not a bad person... Had you given me a choice I would have wanted to come here anyway."

Ikar didn't feel as relieved as he ought to.

"Now I should work on forgiving myself."

"Or maybe I'm too easy to take advantage of," she said, folding her arms tightly. "That's... the main issue with me, I guess."

Her lips had fallen into a scowl that she tried to hide with a hand.

"From what I've seen in you, there was never a moment when I thought you were too weak to fight back. The few times you let me get close, I feared that _I_ would be in danger." He approached slowly to touch her shoulder, and when she looked up at him he resisted the urge to step back. "You'll do just fine in this galaxy, Kim."

It meant the world to him that she could find her smile again but he couldn't shake the urge to want more. He was older than her entire civilization and he was acting like a child. Cowering back into the lobby he tried to set his mind on the tasks at hand. The cabinet that served as an armory for the house was empty.


End file.
